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 Feb 2015 Andrew Kerklaan
Holly
:P
 Feb 2015 Andrew Kerklaan
Holly
:P
I
      Want
                    To
                             Touch
                                            You
                                                         Beyond
                                                                             Your
                                                                                           Skin.
See.                    I'm.                                
No- ­                     fi-                                   I  
   thi                   ne.                             was
     ng                  I'm.                        up
        is    ­            Go-                   rea-
          wro-          od,                 lly
               ng.      Okay            late.
           I had a snack before I came.
             The.                              I'm
       make.               I'm                Just
up.                          Not         ­         Tired.
Makes.                  Broken                      I    
      ­ Me                                           Don't
           Look.                                 Feel
                   pale.                Well.
                   Yesterday was great
              I just.          I'm            I just
          Had.                Ha-            Like
      A bad.                ppy.               The
Sleep.                                               Style.

These are the threads
Of my web of lies
That I build above your heads
Strenghth ending everyday

My common day lies
Spun like spiders silk
Drifting unbroken in the skies
So plain it stands hidden

Entwined strings of excuses
To form a mask from the world
With a million uses
To fake that I am whole

Because I am the spider
Creeping through the day
Dangling off silk as my web grows wider
Trapping all the flies
Don't speak the lingo
Or wear the disguise
Don't listen to thin girls
Comparing their thighs
Preparing compromise
With slaves in suits
And silken ties

Don't bow to the pressure
To hanker and crave
Cos that ninety inch plasma
Won't fit in your grave
And gosh you need a shave
Polish your boots
Now smile and wave

Don't look in the mirror
And pick out the flaws
Don't steam your ******
Or botox your jaws
Never, on any account, watch Jersey Shores
Always expect
The hidden clause

The lies are entangled
Like thickets of briar
And the evidence lost
Or mislaid, or on fire
So justice is for hire
To the biggest perv
And the richest liar
 Feb 2015 Andrew Kerklaan
Mir
Pain
 Feb 2015 Andrew Kerklaan
Mir
I don't care how much someone hurt me
I still don't want to hurt them
I know they caused me pain
And because I've felt that pain
Why would I want to inflict that on someone else?
I just don't understand why others don't feel the same
Feel pain
Spread pain
Live in a world full of pain
No
That's not how it's supposed to be
You are my personal taste of sorbet, sun-tan lotion, botched
slices of the sun that sit on my tongue like pills
before I swallow. I hate necessity, and crave your entity
in ice cream scoop sizes. I want to pull the batteries out of your back,
**** the juice onto my palette and spit it back into your eyes
so maybe you can feel the sting you left me with when you pushed
my heart off the side of the bed while pulling your pelvis closer to my head.
I hate when we’re cooking and you slide ice cubes down my shirt,
but did you know that’s the only time I ever felt anything
from you that wasn’t warm and bitter and bruised? I think
that sometimes your nightmares even scare me.
I can feel them when you sleep,
your arm flinching beneath my neck, how you curl
your toes against my calves and grind your teeth like you’re trying to fit
your square memories into the oval-shaped hole of my spine.
I get that that’s why you’re a little crooked, but you used me
to straighten yourself like the post a tomato plant wraps its stem around.
You took all the nutrients from my center and fed yourself.
You are the palm tree in my snow globe, but no matter
many times I shake you
the snow still falls on my shoulders.
Lately
I've tried
To gain some clarity
In my life
I even stopped writing
But odd strings of sentences
Still haunt me
And sleepless nights
Seem to be filled with
Endless thoughts
Of nonsense
Even dreams are
Jumbled puzzles
Of misdirection
And I just smile madly through it all
I haven't written in awhile.  I'm not busy I just thought maybe I'm not good at it or even if I am why does it matter.
Sometimes on the way out of Giant,
I'll spend some time freeing change
from the receipt-paper
bindle in my coat pocket
for one two-twist mystery prize
from a Folz machine.

Two quarters:
Enough for a sapphire ring and a cheap
laugh while I juggle coffee-cream cartons,
a sack of December oranges, Certs,
cinnamon mouthwash, a dented can
of green beans 'cause it's cheaper,
red toothpicks, Ziploc bags, a barbecue
chicken TV dinner, Noxzema, a 32-case
of Poland Spring water, a Valentine's
Hallmark card and envelope, a bottle
of pink grapefruit Perrier,
two quick picks for Cash 5,
gluten-free potato chips, garlic salt,
some cumin for $2.82, and a copy
of Vogue.

I strap my groceries in the passenger seat,
and see them sitting straight up as I had,
childishly marveling at the lush
maple leaves washing the windshield
edges in green, leaving helicopters
and dew trails.

She and I watched slug trails
beneath mustard streetlights glisten
like Berger Lake.
Bright as the last cigarette my grandma snuffed out in a smokeless ash tray.
Bright as the first line of road flares that separated me from a burning Taurus.
Bright as the quarter my grandpa gave me for the Folz machine in the Sylvania.
And bright as the emerald ring I showed him.
This is an expanded, workshopped version of "A Plastic Ring" that I like a lot more than the original.
Locked inside your head,
Hearing distant footsteps
From the bottom of the stairs,
Alone in an empty room,
Broken ***** bottles
That drowned out the nightmares,
Fear of self control,
The thought of gaining power
That will make you way too strong,
Fear of letting go,
The thought of shattered potential
And seeing things go wrong,
Lost in a crowd,
The voices all the same
Your direction is all off track,
Speaking out for what you love,
The aching trepidation of rejection
That makes foundations of progress crack,
Achieving perfection,
Looks that could never ****
Or bodies that never impressed
Being normal,
It scares you half to death,
It makes the mind obsessed.
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