Thoughts of you linger, time with you is instantaneous.
Alone was a whose beauty only I could ponder.
Loneliness, an elephant in the corner of my mind.
Loneliness, a ferocious beast keeping them out.
Keeping me in.

Dear ex, you used to tell me I was a liar.
The truth hit stop signs on the tip of my tounge.

Dear ex, i found someone who took my seeds that you starved.
And within the technicolour blooms that now florish.

I found truth.

The Only lie I ever told, was I love you!

I stopped waiting by the phone
I stopped pressing my glass to the wall
straining for vicarious sound
I stopped waiting for distraction
to prevent me getting bored

I am alone
I am alone
but feel loneliness
only when I feel I ought to
The rest of the time
it is music
or the silence in between

I stopped pacing the floor
as if movement meant
I was doing something

I stopped looking for love
as if desire were the same
as feeling something for someone

As if holding out for change
was as good as holding a person
as if sleeping alone
caused dreams without reason
as if snatches of warmth
gave purpose to the seasons

I stopped collecting forget-me-nots
I stopped bleeding out my liberal heart
every time there was suffering
or hate in the spaces where
love should have been

I stopped waiting for someone
to doctor the still
where sorrow pervaded
the canned laughter of living

I stopped looking for someone
it was only then
I could start forgiving

When I was young I was told not to swallow seeds.
For a great tree would lay roots in my stomach and grow out my head.
boys were told to sow them, lay their wild oats.
I never read between the lines, never knew I was the field to be ploughed.

So on a cold winter's morning, you forced your seed deep inside me.
Its roots grew through my feet, parasitic branches curled around my mind.
Gorged on my sanity, ****** the self-worth from my bones.
In the desolate emptiness, hollow and alone, no flowers grow in this empty winter that has captured me.

every word is a privilege to speak, and what a time to be alive!
After millennia of grunts and babble, language forming nonsense.
I am here, with a twisting tongue and dancing lips and a belly full of words!
Entwined in my fingers are yours, sending all the words out of my mouth at the same time.
Like a dam that's breaking, like a balloon that's bursting, until language forming nonsense comes babbling out.

I haven't evolved yet to love you like I do.
An octopus has three hearts, and my measly one is trying too hold more volume than an octopus could carry with 8!

So, when I Say I love you I mean it!
When I'm being pedantic, be patient.
Remember, language has not yet evolved to tell you how much I love you.