the grey sky snapped the most beautiful lights yet terrible sounds that my soul has ever experienced. and I’ve never loved lightning as much as I did on that afternoon.

I get attracted easily by simple beautiful things in this beautiful universe. but the lightning, oh, yes the lightning has taught me that loving something means accepting it all. I love its beautiful flash but I also have to love its awful rhythm.

I love your cheesy laugh but I also have to love your anger. I love your maturity but I also have to love your ego. and oh, I love your beautiful soul but I also have to love your flaws.


— mi amor,
everything everything everything.

our relationship is like
you force the sun to stay on such a gloomy, rainy day
because you need her to warm your soul up
no, she couldn't shine as bright as usual

but you asked the sun to leave at night
because there is a moon
there is a constellation of stars
there are citylights
they brighten up your dark soul

and suddenly you like cold weather

and suddenly you miss a warm morning

and suddenly you don't wanna be interupted by her light

and suddenly you miss her flame


— and

all
of
the
sudden
become
a
bad
habit

the sweet breath of the north wind
the frosty air on my skin
the sunshine is hiding
the bird isn't there to sing
the leaves are wet
the raindrops are falling through these grey clouds


— today's weather isn't friendly,
but your smile warms me up.

do I love you or do I love the other version of you that I built on my delusion?

the appearance of yourself that I make up in bed before I go to sleep. who always does silly things just to see me laughing whatever mood I'm in.

the appearance of yourself that complete my boyfriend material expectations. well, maybe that's the reason why I don't enjoy watching romance movies. not just because the way they always talk about happily ever after that bores me, but also because those movies established my expectation on you become higher and higher.

so I treat you as well as I could because the other version of you treats me as if I'm the luckiest ******* the planet. but I still love you the same, tho.


— so darling,
I guess I'm in love with a fantasy.

I never knew
that the sound of those raindrops
on my window
the scent of wet soil
after rain
the melodies of these songs
on my spotify playlist
could remind me of you

remind me of the sound of
your lovely laughter
remind me of the scent of
your sweet perfume
remind me of the sound of
your sleepy voice

— I never knew
that missing you
could be this tough.