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Alexis Rose May 2015
I don't believe in having a clean room. I don't believe in having a perfect complexion, or always having the right thing to say at the right time.
Because for me, beauty is in the chaos of everything.
Those times when people get home so drunk that they leave on their clothes and don't take off their makeup. They wake up with crinkled hair and a messy look on their face, confused. When people are in their most innocent state, so completely consumed with a feeling that everything else fades. When they aren't trying to be someone their not, not trying to keep up the facade of being the person with a clean room and a made-up bed. The people who are crying so much that there's spit and tears everywhere, but keep on crying. I fall in love with people in their most chaotic moments, because those to me are the beautiful.
Alexis Rose May 2015
1,            2,            3,

what is wrong with me?

4,             5,            6,

i guess i'm just a *****.

7,             8,            9,

it's alright, leave me behind.

1,             2,            3,

that's how it was always supposed to be.
Is this even a poem?
Alexis Rose May 2015
my body has its own self-destruct button.
it's quite easy to push,
being located where my mistakes meet the anger,
i have concealed oh so eloquently,
for never being enough.
and so out comes the blades
Alexis Rose Mar 2015
The distance between             meals have become
l   o  n  g  e  r
The thoughts of running blades across my skin are getting
stronger
The bruises on my body have stopped being accidents
The grip I had on happiness is s
                                                         l
                                                            i
                                                             p
                                                              p­
                                                               i
                                                               ­  n
                                                               ­    g
Alexis Rose May 2015
they tremble in fear, perspiring, shaking, shuddering.
for these hands are terrified.

not for the things that would seem obvious,
not a serial killer, or a deadly disease, or a difficult test

these hands, they are afraid of their owner.

because they know what she will do with them
when her heart is too heavy
and the tears flood into an ocean

as she draws her pain with the blades
they can't stop her.
they can't convince her she's better than this,
that it isn't worth her death.

these hands can only shake and tremble in fear.
still 7 months and 9 days clean, but struggling :/
how do i stop these thoughts?
Alexis Rose Jun 2015
i'll keep them cast down tonight.

bang,bang,bang,

tears flow down my flushed cheeks.

but you'll never know why.
flashbacks are a *****.
Alexis Rose May 2015
H  e  l  p**
I can't breathe
Short intakes of hot air
Begging, pleading for someone to save me,
But only he is there
why am i protecting someone with my silence, when they took my heart and crushed it into a billion pieces?
Alexis Rose Mar 2015
I wear a misleading smile these days better than Blake Lively wears a baby doll dress
That kind of smile that hides all the *******on the inside and falsely assures my being OK
Alexis Rose Jun 2015
sometimes words are so unbelievably, inexplicably, incomprehensibly, beautiful.
they can sweep you up off of your feet with their hope, and spin you around in circles with their wonder as you grin at of all the blurred colors around you.
sometimes they can be the only way you make it through the night,
sometimes they can make you fall in the deep-sea-diving type of love that'll make you never want to come up for air,
sometimes they paint pictures prettier than the most stunning sunset.

but on days like today,
the words that bounce around in my head spoken from angry mouths and a tired brain,
all of these words might just be the death of me.
just an fyi..
when you whisper things about someone, it isn't as quiet as you think it might be.
Alexis Rose May 2015
love is the matter-less air
*and sometimes we forget how much we need to breathe
i remember how much i love him more than i remember to eat
Alexis Rose May 2015
Let me feel
Let me feel your pain, baby
Give to me all of the blades you use in your too-dark bedroom
So that I can feel every drop of blood that leaves your body, leave my own

Let me hear
Let me hear every scream, baby
Fill my ears with the sounds of your dreadful memories
So that I can hold each piece that makes up your wounded heart, in mine

Let me see**
Let me see every bruise, cut, and secret, baby
Show me everything that you're fearful of revealing
So that I can take in each one and comfort your tired eyes from all of that horror
Alexis Rose May 2015
I tripped the other day
Then fell onto my knees
As soon as my skin collided with the concrete
I knew I was in trouble
Out poured the blood, all the way down to my toes
Staining the ground and wetting my eyes

And that was how it felt when I first met you
Alexis Rose May 2015
How am I going to save you?

See it's number one on my to-do list,
And that little box is begging to be checked.
And i'm crying and worrying and losing sleep just wondering,

How am I supposed to do this?

But every single effort I make is falling through
And I see those scratches and cuts and...
I know that I would die if I lost you.
He's such a sweetheart and such a sweet person but refuses to see that he's worth something :'(
Alexis Rose Jun 2015
the other day,
i opened my heart wounds for you to see.
bleeding and exposed,
i thought you would let them heal, and leave them be.
but since your eyes were sharp and unclean,
you only stabbed and infected me.
Alexis Rose Apr 2015
I long, I long, for the warmth of his hand in mine.
To feel his fingers twitch and perspire and gently tighten around the spaces between my fingers.
I long, I long, for the warm puffs of air to caress the back of my neck as they make their journey away from his mouth.
To know that even when the monsters called nightmares do their absolute worst, his lips are only a breath away, ready to save me.
I long, I long, for the warmth of his eyes.
To continually hold their chocolate heat with my own, warming my very heart with each bat of his lashes.
He makes everything alright.

— The End —