I wake up in an unknown room
With needles sticking out of both my hands and one in my arm
There is a tube down my throat and i cant figure out why im still breathing
I look around with blurry eyes
And here the beeps with foggy ears
I look up to see clear bags on poles connected to the needles
I feel like i can hear the slow drip drip drip of the liquid flowing through those tubes
I know it is impossible but i could feel those drips
They were like tiny earth quakes in my hands
That shook me to my coar
A smiling blonde nurse walks in and takes the tube out of my throat
Her name is McKenzie
McKenzie tells me how I was life flighted to spokane
How i have been in a coma for 4 days
How my heart rate was above 170
How my dog found me
laying on the concrete floor covered in my own ****
But all i can hear is the incessant beeping of machines
All i can hear is the sound of my own failure
I took so many pills i lost track after 150
I could still feel the steel knife against my skin
I was so careful
So sure
Well
They always say third times the charm.

his lips caress my collar bone
as his hands begin to roam
the sounds of shaking breath
skin against skin
and moaning voices
echos into the stars
inviting pleasure in
his finger tips gripping my hips
are all thats keeping me from floating into space
rough words whispered in sweet tones
are all that are convincing me this is reality
the bruises he leaves behind after he's done
just remind me of what once was
and once they disappear again
i go crawling back for more