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 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
Open Skies
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
I'm so terrified
But I wanna be different
Reckless and happy
Staring at the stars
Open bottle beside me
But I'm worried
And concerned
And there's nothing I can do
Lol
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
I want to feel nothing next to you
Not that I am nothing
I am everything
I am loving and loyal
With my own fire
I do not need your matches

If I could open my mouth
I wouldn't say anything
Because I'm too scared they'll all know
Eyes staring at me
Mouths open
Words like thorns slicing my body
My petals each falling one by one

I wish I didn't shake in thought
Or dream in longing
Hands in hands
Cheeks against palms
Lips against anything that is you
I wish I was void
Because I am not nothing
But my feelings make me so
I cannot be this way

I know you don't believe in him
But for Gods sake
try for one moment to stop
To take back every part of your soul
So I no longer have to hate myself
For my sake
Let me feel nothing
I wrote this like a month or so ago but I was never sure about it idk
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
Chameleon
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
Nothing matters the way it used to
My skin is different than before
Like a jacket I wear to protect from the cold
From a new me
I wear my old skin as a shield
I'm too tired to care
Too tired to pretend it matters
I'm not as I was
Or as I pretend to be
Nothing can be the same
Yet I remain as I am
Because I am shaking
I cannot hang up my old skin
I won't know who I am without it
I'm so confused
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
Unfit
 Dec 2015 alasia
Samantha
Whoever I am is not something you need
I'm not something you must have in order to survive
Your sun sets and rises in my absence
But I wish that you looked at me as though your world spun on my axis
People don't belong to people
But I hoped you'd want me to be yours
It didn't matter to me how you showed me you cared
With words or actions
I waited with baited breath
But it never seemed to be what you were searching for
It was never me
I'm an attention ***** lol
 Dec 2015 alasia
Banana
I work in a hospital,
sterile, too bright, monitors beep,
everything's bleak except you.
I know you're dying and as I check your vital signs I try not to speak.
You tell me once you're better you'll take me to dinner,
I wish I was optimistic, I wish I didn't know better.
So instead I take my breaks in your room,
we sit there and talk over ****** hospital food.
When I work night shifts I watch your mother cry while you sleep,
It's eight o-clock, she hasn't had dinner, I remind her to eat.
This is going to be a series, or collection I guess. I have some stuff written about this, I just want to put it together in thoughtful, chronological and coherent manner. So stay tuned for updates.
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