If my fate is to love you
From a distance
Then I'll burn for you
Like a star in your night sky
Bright, steady, reliable
Unwavering
Until the end of time.

trying
can you try too hard
too much
too strong
too fast
I cannot stop my thoughts
they circle and circle
and find you again
am I falling?
how can I, if I cannot recall your face

first
I can see you from the distance
Ginger hair and tall figure
Then your arms lift me up
Close, my heartbeat fastens
Your voice reaches deep
Your pace is fast
Am I chasing after you already?
will you let me catch up
I see you look at me
Your eyes, a puzzle
What you’re hiding
are you with me, or else
far away
lost to me
we laugh and talk
time flies
moment flickers
disappears
you were mine only then

uncertainty
it consumes me
inside out
I feel my lungs filling up with doubts
I feel my heartbeat fastening like a drum on a summer eve
I feel it
All over my body
My head swarms with buzzing thoughts
Unwanted
Please
Leave me in peace

I have all the time
Given to me freely with my first breath
Yet my body ages each day
I walk blindly towards the end
Will you show me the way
Step through heartbreak and all this grief
Jump over hatred, jealousy and hopeless days
Look forward
Fall in love, have all the firsts
Fall again, feel this joy and satisfaction
Creeping at every happy corner
Yet don’t stop, but walk
As the road is all you have

I crave connection
Yet fear this minefield of societal
subtleties
My image so precious constructed upon all those choices
Paths not taken
What if
If it crumbles
Will I be ‘me’ no more
Gains seem thin and loss enormous
Let me fall
My bruised ego will keep me grounded
Let me float
I’ll stay here with this fear
Look at it once and twice
Befriend it even
I have time
All the time