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Agata Ewa Jul 2020
sings hollow in my ears
my every attempt at breath
i come up
crawl towards the shore
find silence again
submerged my mind freezes
time stops
hands shake
it will be okay
if you ever hear from him again
Time is tragically still
and the air is frigid.

I've now begun to settle from my past state
of pure livid,
anger I can't live with.

With the mastering of calm and meditative breathing
the stress melts away.
I'm constantly watching it slowly decay.

Control back on my side
as I suddenly feel
the odd sensation of content inside.

Coping and alive,
and somehow,
I thrive.
Agata Ewa Jul 2020
Surrounded by green ocean I scratch my head
Did the world forget to stop spinning?
How can it be?
Goodbyes said this minute
Grief echoes far
Voices ring around me full of “normal”
Let there hope be
Continue as a warrior
Agata Ewa Jul 2020
i am searching my mind
thinking hard
where are the words
how can i make you know me
hidden, lost or else forgotten
i struggle to express my desire
for you
to like me, but real me
so i will not fake it
have my language
magnify and judge and once all finished
come back and stay
or else
Agata Ewa Jul 2020
Somehow I feel so grateful today
For all I have for all I am
For all those who walk my path with me
And those who left
I breath out gratitude
For my beautiful body
So warm so dear
For the touch
For the smell
For the sight
For the sounds
For the taste
I am here
And while chaos and uncertainty reigns all around
I stand still
Breath in the unwelcome
And out “thank you”
Agata Ewa Jun 2020
I can feel it
My bones become heavy
Struggle to lift myself up
Why my mind is blank?
So foggy
Please don’t come for me
I want to be
Fear, it creeps in
I can feel it
All around me and within
What am I afraid of?
Courage, my dearest
Let’s look fear in the face
I won’t give up
Not today
  Jun 2020 Agata Ewa
didn't your heart stopped for a while
before making such a weighted declaration

didn't your lungs gasp for air
before these words could escape your mouth

didn't your voice tremble
while speaking these words out aloud

how casually you said them
like you didn't even mean to

but why am I scolding you now
'cause once it's said
it doesn't matter
it doesn't change anything

the words have been said
the blood has been drawn

and now there's no turning back
'cause mortals aren't allowed to fall in love with Gods
how can I lose you when i never had you to begin with?
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