I've spent hours of days of a week for months
just to get you out of my head.
I think I get closer everyday,
until I hear a certain song
or see something that reminds me
of you.
No matter how hard I try,
you're always there.
Walking around inside my head.
Stomping, causing me headaches.
I haven't talked to you in months,
but there you are on the radio
or there you are on the internet.
You're everywhere
& nowhere all at once.
Aren't you tired?
I know I am.

We live in a world where,
people are killing others.
Where people are stealing because
they can't afford what our government
prices so high.
Where people are homeless,
because they couldn't pay rent.
We live in a world that's not equal & not free.
We live in a world of hatred & power.
Where we can't shower because the water got shut off.
A world where war is so high
& the poor isn't cared for.
A world where the rich are greedy,
& the poor will do more
for the less fortune.
This is just some of how the world we live in

really is.

You can be happy
or you can be miserable.
You only get one life.
You decide.

You see these little lines?
You stop to think what those are from.
You think you know but you're unsure.
You want to ask but you know what it's like.
We don't talk about it.
You know they aren't just scars.
You know they're the demons I fought
at 3 a.m.
You know they are my deepest insecurities & fears.
You know want to ask but you know what it's like.
We as people never wanted to feel this.
No one understands unless they know what those little lines are.
You don't have to ask because you know exactly what they are.
You are, I am, we are...
depression.

You.
You're nothing but
Broken promises
&
Broken dreams.
You.
You're nothing but
a liar
&
A cheater.

Don't you hear the sound of my voice
that I'm tired.
The voices in your head tell me to
stop but all I do is run.
Im tired.
I want to stop
& walk
& talk about the pain
in our hearts because I
assure you're not alone.
Rescue me from the deep trench
Ive sunk myself into.
I dug myself into to.

My girl is tall.
My girl has darker skin.
My girl has deep brown eyes.
My girl is beautiful.
My girl is smart.
My girl has my heart.
My girl is my girl.
& I'm in love.

Is it really that simple to write?
Or is it more complicated than that?
Is it me reaching inside my head,
to the deepest, darkest places
just go grab the words I need.
To twist, & bend those words
to become sentences that easily flow from line
to line?
To crumble those sentences, then
toss them onto a page,
hoping they become
a sentence with
well thought out structure?
So, when you go back & read,
it's this beautiful writing?

Never thought I'd be happy,
until I met you.
Never thought I'd smile again,
until I met you.
Never thought someone could love me,
until I met you.
Never thought we'd be together,
until you showed me.

For so long I've felt trapped inside my head.
I've wanted for so long to break out
& be free.
I've felt the pain long enough.
These scars can't hold me
back forever.
I will shine.
I will
overcome this monster.
I will defeat
the demon inside
my head.

It's hard to find someone who can sweep you off your feet.
But, I did.
I found this girl who showed me what
its like to really be in love.
She's the girl you'd have your parents meet.
She's so sweet.
She was unexpected.
But she makes me feel protected.
I feel safe.
I feel like I belong.
I see her,
& I smile.
She is love.

You kissed my cheek softly,
before you left.
I always hate when you have to go.
Why can't you stay here
with me forever?
Why can't you leave her & stay with me?
You always talk about it,
but you never do.
I'm tired of being second.
Baby...
stay with me.

I wish I could go somewhere.
I want to travel & explore.
But I'm stuck here. Not much money
& I'm stuck inside a teenage body,
stuck with restrictions.

It's late in the evening
& I'm staring at the walls.
I'm thinking of our future,
& all my flaws.
"I want to marry you!", I yelled.
"I want to marry you", I whispered quietly as you
began to fall asleep.
Your heads on my chest.
& all I can think about is our future & my flaws.

Shadows come in different shape & sizes.
Everything that light touches has
a shadow.
You're shadow is one thing that you
will never get rid of.
It's always there.
No one can take that away from you.
After all,
it is
you.

I need a light on when I sleep.
It's because I'm surrounded by darkness & I'm scared it'll swallow me up if I step out of this light.
I feel the pain taking over my body.
I feel the pain sinking into my veins. I'm barely hanging on to the last bit of the light you once gave me.
But darling you're gone & all I feel is that darkness over my body.
You've created this darkness & now this darkness is me.
Lonely. Darkness. Covered me up like a sea washing over me.
I'm not who I was before & you're to thank for that.

I wonder what made my heart so cold.
Then I realized, it was the worst thing that had happened to me.
Depression.
It had froze my soul solid.
It's made my body numb,
from head to toe.

For as long as I can remember, I've had depression.
I can't remember how it started,
but I know it's been a while since I was better.
I crave to be okay again.
Then I met her.
She came into my life &
changed everything.
I guess things do get better.
She helps a lot.

I've always worn my flaws
on my sleeve.
You have always looked past them.
I get frustrated easily.
You get up & hug me.
You have always been there to make
me okay.
You're what holds me together,
when I'm about to break.

I realized today
that I am a lost soul.
I never really
felt like I belonged anywhere.
I searched around,
but I was never found.
I'm looking for myself in
all the wrong places.
I needed help,
but who can help you
if you can't help yourself.
I think being lost is one of the best
things that has ever happened.
I say that because I connect with other souls
who
are
lost.

You're tired.
You're lonely.
You're hurt.
You're alone.
You're broken.
You're sick.

You are depression.