i'm counting every sin
and trying to drown my pain in
benzos and cocktails
and it never really fails.
no one else has noticed i'm
never on time.
i'm always alone
or on my phone.
my speech a little slurred
and the roads a little blurred.
i cover up what i'm feeling
with meds meant for healing.
my intentions are clear
but the end's kinda near.
all 'cause i ended us.
it's cool af though.
i swear.

I’m preoccupied.
I’m busy trying to wash the feeling of your skin off of mine with tears of my very own.
I’m busy trying not to cry every time I think about you crying over me.
I’m busy drowning my sorrows in a few words too many and now it’s over.
Once and for all.



Here is where I find that there is no artistic way to break your heart.

whipping hair and stormy blue eyes
not as innocent as she implies
child of the chaos, ruler of the skies

It is nights like these,
When I stand and look out at everything,
That I know neither moderation or mercy.
What am I to do when the stars painted on the ceiling tell me that I Control every game and every play made?
What am I to do when the neon lights on the slot machines tell me
That I am the house, and I always win?
Resistance is unbecoming,
And I can't just ignore what the they tell me.
So I slip my legs over the balcony railing,
Watching and waiting for my time.
All the while,
I feel no sympathy
And I regret no choices,
For, tonight, I do not care about mercy.
No one will be spared.

"why don't you talk to me anymore?"
"why do i need to?"
"i can't live without you."
"then die."

i've bitten my tongue so much
that it bleeds because it stops me from talking,
helps to keep the peace.
it stains my lips red as a reminder
that your words can start wars,
hurting those around you and
leaving destruction in their wake.
for what is the worth of the blood of one
when it has saved the lives of many?

i'm so cold i can make your blood boil.