I'm addicted to a life
of wondering
hoping
dreaming
guessing
...and missing.

I'm trying to quit
and get hooked on living.

We lie awake
at afterparty hours
with fragile hearts
that scream silently,
violently,
why do we feel alone?

Why do we feel alone
with so many of us here?
We carry a torch
in its fire our feelings flicker.
We pass it around
breathing the ember in.
We inhale the flames
And exhale dark ashes.

Each breath keeps it ignited
as we share this light inside us.
We feel it's familiar warmth
when we pass each other by.
It bonds and it heals us;
all walks of our lives together.

We lie awake
at any fragile hour
with open hearts
that scream loudly,
proudly,
we are not alone.

Out of habit I said I was fine
but no one is fine in the dark
speaking to voices
screaming to ghosts
crying to puddles of tears.

No one is fine in the light
with only themselves in sight.

I live vicariously through myself.
I live inside a life I made for me.

I live a life of promise and hope
where I fall in love with life.
I breathe in my struggles
and exhale my success.

I realize shortly after
that reality is imminent.
I'm burdened by my failures
with a bandage on my mistakes.

I live my life in the moment
so imperfectly real.

I was always lost.
I think I may be found, now
or at least I know you're out there
looking for me.
I'm someone to look for now.

Madness could engulf me--
its flame to my poisoned heart.
I hope a sliver of sanity
will keep us forever apart.

I exist in fragments
scattered over years and moments
of love, of joy, of pain.

In fragments held by people;
I hope they need them someday
if only a brief remembrance.

In fragments lodged in places
where I've been or have wished to be,
where I loved, I laughed, I cried.

In fragments in your heart
that I broke myself for.
Those fragments I may not find again.

I exist in fragments
broken but knowing
that maybe we all need a fragment of me.