i've never seen you never touched you never felt your hands against mine i've only heard your adorable voice seen your beautiful smile on the other side of the screen but i feel like i know you for thousand years i feel like you've been always here and it tears me apart that i probably won't ever see you we've been so close, only 30 minutes apart and still i didn't have the courage to come to see you i fear that you might be even more beautiful more adorable more perfect and it tears me apart that when i got the courage you were gone, you went 2000km away and i didn't hear your voice for weeks i didn't see your face nor your chubby cheeks nor the skinny hands that i'm dying to touch and today i realised that i love you i love how you bite your nails how you turn hair back or watch yourself in the window behind your laptop i love your eyes and how you look at me when i'm being a dork and, god, i love everything about you from the way you move to the way you look.
i fell in love with a person that i've never seen nor touched and this facts kills me
I preffer fighting in a war and saving people's lifes than watching my beloved ones destroying eachother. I want to run away and never come back. I can't handle those yellings and i can't stop the tears streaming down my face. I feel empty. Dead. I am young, i should laugh and have fun with my friends but instead i am too scared to smile because i fear that something bad will happen after it. I grew up surrounded by hate, by anger. People often ask me why am i so closed into myslef why am i so scared of everything. I hope they never feel what i feel. See what i see. I see my parents broken. I see them trying so hard that they don't see what is happening around them. They don't see my 7 y/o sister crying herslef to sleep, they don't hear her scream late at night. They don't see me how i fear of going home. How confused and stressed i am. They only care for themselves and nothing else. I want to run run run and never come back. But i won't forget it. I won't forgive them. Forgive and forget doesn't work for me.
My whole life i've wanted to be a loving mother, To take care of my kids, Buy them books and sing them to sleep. My whole life i've wanted a loving family A family that won't make me cry An understanding husband that will take care of our kids when i die.
But once i found my own mother crying in the corner and not being able to breathe because of the pain that my father gave her. And in that moment i realized that the perfect family does not exist. I won't find the perfect husband or have the most polite kids if i don't make them so.
My whole life i've been telling to myself "you are just a kid, you don't understand" But the truth is that i do understand. I've felt pain for dozen lifes. Yes, I am kid but i aim at the best And hope is the one that dies last.
I feel like you're fading away and nobody'll see you again. I'll never hear your deep voice. I'll never hear you laugh. I'll never hear or see you.
I feel like the angels are singing a sad song tonight because i think i can hear them and their voices bring me hope. They make me feel like not everything is lost.
But sometimes i feel like it's not you that's fading, it's me. I am the person who is being aloof. The one that got away and threw all the memories deep in my mind, hoping that i won't ever remember them.
But i do and i feel like i am being torn into pieces. I miss you. And i want you back.