What's the point of waiting by the phone?
If your messages are dry and you are alone.
The person that you want so much to message back,
Is ignoring you and you're about to crack.

All the bottled emotions in your head.
Are a step away from exploding, then you're dead.
There is just so much that you wanna say...
But so many obstacles all in your way.

Why is it that
the depressing and
the feeling of despair
come so naturally?

The words to describe
insurmountable sadness
and an aching emptiness
flow directly from my mind
to my fingers. I write and
type them easily
like I was born to do so.

Why is it that the aching in my heart
and the aching in my hand
go hand-in-hand

A look over the mountain of
anguish and all I see
is an ocean of deep,
unending emotional distress.

Time to de-stress,
oh laugh,
that is impossible
            silly me.

Describe my black filled soul
like a 2006 emo. And yet
describing the happy
however rare, is as if I am
attempting to climb
the tallest mountain on
Earth.

What is there for me to do? There's so much in this world you have not seen. How can you speak about love? Without you, I'm full of pain. And emptiness remains. I beg for your forgiveness. I begin to feel the shame. I said we were too young. But I'm begging you to stay. Please don't leave me in this empty world. Let's try another day. Do you see that if you don't speak of love, everything will be ok?

☁️

When your footsteps seem to fall back,
At first you'll just laugh.
You'll brush it off with a smile on your lips,
Saying this is just a temporary mess.

But then you fall back again,
And your patience wears a little thin.
You still stand up tall,
But your empowerment is not quite the same anymore.

You tell yourself it's okay,
Until you stumble over your feet.
You sob into the ground,
And realize slowly, there's no getting up now.

Sometimes I wonder

if I even survived
my childhood.

Maybe some part of me
is sleeping
up on the hill.

One of those
Nightmares
That I couldn't escape
Carried me off
In its jaws

and so maybe
I am planted.
Looking down
At all the people
I can't remember.

I hope that I am ashes.
I never wanted a stone.

I was told it is sad
That I'm still bewildered
By the fact
That you enjoy speaking to me,
That you take time out of your day,
To talk to me.

That I'm not a waste of time
Or a waste of space.

And it's still astonishing
That you enjoy any part of me
As more than just a thing that's there,
But also a person,
With a heart, and mind, and soul.

And I've been told that it's sad
That I'm still in awe
Of you and your warmth
And your perspective
And kindness.

But that last part,
I don't think it's sad.
I think it's good.

It has been eleven years,
And you're still the most
Magnificent person
I have ever met.

Whisper to me
Softly,
Am I worth your time?
And with each and every
Word that just so happens
To rhyme,
I will take my chances,
And answer in kind.

You are the flame
Burning in my heart,
And the red string of fate
Tangles around me
Just so,
That I fall into your arms,
And am tangled within yours.

I see pictures of
The human heart,
And like every work of art,
Have you ever wondered
Why it is the way it is?

The shape we know
As a heart,
Is supposed to be two human hearts
Combined through love
As one.

And daylight fades into night,
And I can feel the shift,
Nothing is right,
But it doesn't matter.

Because how can anything matter more
At this moment
Than my yearning to be
In your arms.

somtimes I dream about flowers
about their golden petals
and their green leaves
how they're swaying
in the soft wind

but do the flowers dream about me?
about my golden hair
and my blue eyes
how I'm swaying
under all that pressure?

do they see me in their dreams
how I'm crumbling
under all this weight
like they would
under heavy rain?

I like to think they do
just like I dream about them
and maybe just like I marvel at them
they see beauty in me too

sometimes I dream about flowers
and sometimes flowers dream about me