Do not cower
For I'll be your power
Your strength and guidance
For your absolute brilliance
Even if I stumble and fall
while you're having a ball.
You are my only one
Even when you are gone.

Life wants to slow me down
But I'm sprinting all the way to the crown
Boy I used to be lost at every turn
Demeanor of a James Bond
What every boy yearns
I wish to paint pictures
Cant draw so I'll do it through scriptures
Nightmares dominating good dreams
Evil gobbling up my good sleep
Result of a disturbed subconscious
Be yourself, this ain't no contest
Do yourself, you don't need context

Louder
The music has to go louder

Loud isn't loud enough

I need their screams to wash out the voices on my head

I need the screeches to cover the burning of my soul

It's not enough
It's never enough
It'll never be enough

I can still hear myself
I don't want to hear myself

My soul eats at me
I need my mind to be overpowered

It can't get loud enough
Nothing covers the burning inside
Each though is a shard knife digging through my mind

Paranoid schizophrenic
Borderline
Bipolar
Depressed
OCD
Anxiety

I am not a human
I am a list of problems
And therefore I must leave

I was reminded today how quickly things can change
One day there is sunshine and then came the rain

The sunshine was nice, beautiful and warm
But with the morning came a dark, wet, cold storm

I thought of how in life it's often the same joy in one season
And in some seasons pain

But as I thought of the sun but gazed at the storm
I thought it was just as beautiful as the warm day before

The cold hurt a little and I had to layer up but the view before me hadn't changed that much

In life it's the same, storms bring cold air
We have to layer up not with clothes but with prayer

No matter the season life is beautiful still
No matter the hurt or pain we might feel

We should always lean on Jesus he is our shelter from the storm
And remember his love for us will always keep up warm

So when clouds roll in and you find yourself in fear
Layer up and know that HE is near.

- Crystal Sacco
4/26/15
Written after spending a weekend at my in laws cabin in Colorado. Saturday was beautiful sunny and warm all day. And Sunday morning came and it was very cold and snowed/rained all day! Both days were BEAUTIFUL! :)

tick, tock, the clock
whirrs, and burrs, and stops.

I can honestly say I am disgusted

Some things are better left unsaid

I'm not mad
The truth is I'm hurt
Hurt more then you will ever know
You think I'm fine brushing off all that we ever had.
You think I'm lying in bed with a smile on my face
Dreaming about my life with him
Some nights yes
Other nights
That's not the case
I lye here with a million things going through my mind
What if I wouldn't of gone
What if I wouldn't of been so pushy
What if non of my flaws would be flaws to you
What if
Then I remember no the only what if is the
What if you changed
What if you grew up and understood what I wanted
Theirs only so many chances you can give someone
Like I said I'm not mad I'm hurt
I know I hurt you too but the hurt I felt
The tears going down my face when you compared me to my best friend and told her all my flaws
I felt like i was never good enough after that
I'm sorry you thought you had to act different to impress me
I'm sorry that I'm bad at showing how I feel
I'm sorry I write these poems and I don't  like looking at the past
I'm sorry I was controlling
The truth is you never had to act different to empress me I was there for you from the start
I was your best friend from the start
I loved you from the start
The truth is I wanted you to show me how you really felt
You kept it all hidden so you wouldn't hurt me
But I felt like I couldn't tell you how I felt because you couldn't tell me how you felt
The truth is I write poetry because it's the only way to really express how I feel and it keeps me from cutting
bet you never knew that
The truth is I do look back at the past every **** day and it hurts like hell
The truth is I was pushy because I wanted the best for you
Best for us
Now I'm sitting here crying while writing this
I didn't hurt you because I wanted to
I made a decision for myself for once
I'm not mad at you
I'm sorry if your mad at me
I'm sorry everything has to end like this
I miss you
I love you
Always have and always will
Now I'm happy for the most part
All I'm missing is my best friend
Maybe one day I will get him back

M.W.T.W