i became something dark.........
                  .........but i didn't mind
because i was in love............
                 .........with a monster

him and i had the relationship of a
five year old and a balloon
i was so happy to have him
and promised i would never
let him go
until one day
my mind slipped
and suddenly
just like that
he was gone
and i was just stuck
watching,
crying,
but not able to do anything
because
my arms got tired

we're a society who will do whatever we want
right or wrong
because
we've told ourselves
"my demons made me""
when
in all
reality
**we are the demons.

i'll forgive you
if that's
what you need
but i'm begging don't go
i'm begging  *don't leave.

Please don’t tell anyone;
but I’m scared
Eyes once creased with laughter
now open wide with apprehension
There’s a fast paced drumbeat in my head
and my heart is pounding against the walls of my chest
because I’ve been signed up
for a job I’m under-qualified for.
Please don’t tell anyone!
But I’m sad
and there’s nothing beautiful or romantic
about how my head aches from hours spent crying
and hating myself for tears and everything else
about trying to remember to love my skin
and everything else in it
but failing miserably
and tasting salt.
Please don’t tell anyone;
but I’m empty
My stomach’s been hollow for hours
and my vision’s starting to blur
but I don’t care
Because I’m devoid of the will
to carry on
uncaring of what happens
to this shell of the person I once was.
Please don’t tell anyone
all I’ve got left are thin deceptions.

they told me to chase my dreams
but what if
i can't sleep?