I have been invisible before.
My thoughts and justifications were transparent.
All anyone could see were my actions;
the way I failed and stumbled,
and ran head first into doors that lead me down path after path of distraction.
At least they seemed like distractions,  
oh, but they become my destruction. 


I spent my time quietly imploding,
only to change my mind last minute,
and suddenly explode.
I changed my mind,
but my body stayed stock still.
I stood in front of the judges
and while my tongue was granite,
the urge to run from the podium had never been greater.

I wished to be invisible.
I wished to go to a dark corner of the room and finish my implosion.
Out of sight,
where I could hide and self destruct without a sound.

And then if,
or when,
I picked up the shrapnel,
I could re-join everyone on stage at graduation.

I could hold my head high
and with a smile,
pretend no one saw me crumble.

You are my friend
You are my teacher
You are my trend
You are my editor

You're my supervisor
You're my inspiration
You're my favorite author
You're my satisfaction

You are my morning
You are my new day
You are my lighting
You are my right way

Your heart is my heart
Your mind is my mind
Your lovely art is my art
Your kind is my kind

You are in my mind
You are my shine
You are so kind
But you are not mine
Please, don't mind…..

Maybe I cannot say
Some words to you
Oh, I'm missing them
    My sweet, lovely
    great, happy smiley
    cute, amazing friend.
Truly, here type is bind
I am so sorry
don't worry
don't mind

But I must say
I respect you
I owe you
I like you, my friend.

Always remember to love.
Love with every fiber of your being
And with no regrets.
Let your walls down
And accept the happiness
That you deserve,
And always know
That you are worthy of love.

Always remember to never hold back.
Your feelings are valid
So speak your mind
And don’t worry about what others think.
Accept who you are
And don’t ever let anyone change
The way you think or feel
Because it makes you
The unique person that you are.

Always remember to trust yourself,
Because you are the only one
That will always have your back.
People will come and go
So don’t be numb and cold
But be cautious
About who you open up to.

Always remember to never give yourself away.
The one’s you care for
Are capable of leaving
No matter how hard you try
And how much of yourself you give.
Giving someone your all
Makes you vulnerable
And easy to break
Like a sheet of thin glass
And people will take advantage.

Always remember to be spontaneous.
Dance in the rain
And sing until your lungs give out
Embrace your inner child
And live in the moment.
You are never too old for adventure
And life is too short
To dwell on the past.

Always remember to be passionate.
Stay motivated
No matter how stressful it may get
Because it will be worth it in the end
If you love what you are doing.
And never stop working
Until you have given your all
And reached your goal.

Always remember to fight through the pain.
No matter how hard it gets
Don’t give up.
When it feels like you are drowning
Learn how to swim.
This is only a small chapter
In your life
So turn the page
And start fresh.  

Always remember to live like there’s no tomorrow
Because you never know if there will be.

Love,
Future you

a young warrior fulfils a dream,
one on one combat, and his foe
folds like wet parchment.
a wounded musician, has his back
even as the javelin impaled
in her arm (her spoils)
drips with life.

the clatter of a die.
a number announcing if she survives
is softly reported

[or how Oscar’s help was neither wanted nor needed, thank you very much]

chills creep up my legs.
the frost white presence
now awake, rises from cave-stone floor.
the chill is on our faces,
breaths and bodies freeze.

the rogue among us steps,
quick fingers dipping into pockets,
their own for once.

Draconic eyes glint like sapphires,
drawn to the currency,
the two gold coins
held before him
in two confident hands.

echoing through the dark space,
a single clink,
a tossed wink.
and just like that,
the thief had stolen a heart.

[or how Chafon seduced a dragon]

"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.