I feel sad again
I don't know why

I play around with it in my head
But there's still no reason why

Maybe it's because I fail at all I try
Maybe it's because I am not special
Maybe it's because I'm too weak
Maybe it's for no reason at all
Maybe my outlook is simply too bleak

Suicide; I haven't thought of how
In a long time
Suicide; I have thought of  when
Maybe now

It seems as good a time as any
But how to do it?
The choices again are too many.

I tried it once and failed
(Story of my life)
A halfhearted attempt derailed

I am sad again
I don't know why
I am deep
Below the sky

Help!
I shout
In my head
Help!
I never shout
Out loud
Again why?

Oh let me cry
I want to weep but I can't
And here again WHY

I feel alone
My heart beat frozen
I want to show how I feel
On the out side
But it never seems right
I am a in a solo fight
Again
WHY?

I'm heavy and fat
But I hate the heavy feeling that stops my simile
But I hate the heaving feeling that keeps me in bed
I hate the heavy feeling hovering all the while
I hate the heavy feeling that's rotting my head.
I'm fat and I hate it but I'm sad and I hate it more
This heaving feeling I abhor

Am I rotten?
Am I rotting?
I don't see the point
Is there one?

I am sad
Again
I don't know why

The pain is too much and has been going on for far too long
Good things never last and bad things find a way to stay
I feel abandoned and alone
I feel like I have no home

Lost in a dark forest
It's black and all around are the screams of who I used to be
In the distance I see a tall black tree
On it a rope
I tie it around my neck and set myself free

Every time the phone rang you died
Not every time the phone rang I cried

For you may be where you need to be
Away from pain, loving strain, just free

Every time I passed the bowls park I thought of you
Not every time I wanted to

For it reminds me of how far way you are
Spiritually longing angel belonging shared scare

Every time I see checkered patterns I think of you
You a king and a knight this is too true

For you are my rival in chess my partner in mess
Secured by a joke only by your hand  did I feel blessed

To me you are my jester and my knight
Cruel victim of a monstrous fight
You are a model and a muse
This no one can refuse
But if I had to use a poem to say goodbye
I'd have to title it

The king and I

My King, my Captain, my Granddad.

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means something

Keep my goals dream
Going nowhere

Emma was ashamed
It means nothing

Defuse the loving game
Traded my heart for something

You can have my mind to chew
I've got no contempt for you
If I dye far away
Bury me in a spotless grave

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means something

Time helped, my wound grow
I've got no contempt for you
If I dye far way hope I don't rob my own grave
Your crying

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means nothing

Me and Misses Brown fooled around
With Snow White
I know it happen
But I can't remember what night

The nameless Angel haunts my day dreams
I know what I want but can't find my means

Involuntary chase, infatuation laps
It's too dark too see

Hello!

We feel it, everything you risk
Influence this side of me
Without words you can cause a spark
We're virtually flying

For you I'm sure it's gonna work
For you I know it's gonna work

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

The tears they're heavy around us
Walk around you'll see them pooling
You don't dwell on past mistakes
And you're strong enough to never break

For you I'm sure it's gonna work
For you I know it's gonna work

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

You'll mumble the question you won't be able to answer
You're emotions too crowded so relax it's one adventure

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

You're beautiful don't stand around
And never be afraid to fall

I tried to galvanise.
I've got your smile carved in my eyes
But it's all I can do
Not to forget you
'Cause I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in

I onced tried to forget
But found myself faced with regret
And it's all I can do
When your image sticks to me like clue
And I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in

I've lost my balance
It seems to be chronic
My mind is not made up about you
I'm hungry give me Gin & Tonic

It's fun to play pretend
But this has got to end
I'm trying to replace you
But I've got this mental issue

I guess we'll just stay friends
Until this unnamed feeling ends
You'll be oblivious
That I long for one more kiss
  
And I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in