This mind of a Martyr
One still ready to die for this,
Forgot my tears
Far too heavy to hide in this,
So chin up and stone faced,
With your fingers wrapped
around my monuments,
Ready to salvage the wreckage,
These marbled memories,
Still glisten in the eye of the sun

When you speak aloud,
Fire your words as nameless bullets.
Without a face or destination,
simply burning through the air
in search of a target

On the night before spring,
All the windows were open,
Curtains billowed with february
waiting for the sound of morning
to trap itself inside

When the soil was ready,
we ran across the lawn
searching for salamanders
to catch with cages of fingers,
Gawking at the zoo in our palms
hoping that we too could bathe
in the moonlight and sleep on the stars

All this malice in my heart
so much hate in this spine
these tidal wave to drown in eyes
16 shadows follow behind,

too much ink in these veins
not enough hurt to spill them
no time for prayer no more
stuck with this fiend in my mouth
tell me how to vanquish it,

I miss the morphine
miss her warm embrace
I'm all hate without her

All these pent up frustrations,
Banging on my insides,
Playing their anthems on my bones,
Waving a flag for news of the fallen,
Take back my morals,
Return me to my bed,
I'd trade my soul for pocket change,
Sick of the tongues knotted in nooses,
Tired of the silence used and useless,
These pens done gone and run out on me,
Dried themselves of all that is left,
So slit my wrists and write with blood,
Because that's all this really is anyways

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I know about these demons
All of them by name
The vices they have gifted me
Conversing with my addictions
Making plans for the future
And tightening the chains

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I've identified all the leaks in my hull
Letting the Atlantic rush on in
Duct tape can not fix every hole
That you have left in me

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I do not care about this body anymore
Wishing to rid myself of it
Liberation will be the song I shall dance to
Once this heart has forgotten it's rhythm
And my blood pumps in tune again

Send a postcard,
Don't forget where we left off
The nights under the pier,
Tides that crept up our ankles,
kissed the sand we loved so dearly,
I wish you were here,
The sun doesn't set the same

Mother may I tell you the truth?
      That these demons been all haunting my insides.
Mother can I be honest for once?
      Cause the truth seems out of my reach.
Mother How often do you cry for me?
       I know them liquor bottles stopped doing their trick.
Mother why'd it all come out to this?
       Our words still sharp, the scars they left refuse to heal.
Mother tell me when I can come home.
       Winter is coming and I got no more warmth left in me.

These time capsules
Filled to the brim with colored memories
Each one addressed to a day
Taken at meals or in-between them
I am starting to dissolve
They are too
Seeping into my bloodstream
These little capsules of dreams
Break them open
Breath them in
Maybe I will see the ocean
when the bottle is empty

You who speak the words of mountains
The kind that leave a chill in the room
with your snow covered peaks,
You who know the song the morning sings,
How this orchestra of a world plays
symphonies with the movement of the sun,
I've wondered for years now
How you were chosen to microscope this life
The way you analyze the details we are blind to,
You with those feathers in your mouth
How your words take flight as you read,
I hope your journey is a quick one.
Thank you for everything.

Such a complicated thing.
I just want to write of how the waves move me,
How I have slept for years to the cricket’s song,
When my eyes flood as the fields did the same,
How my hips move when the horn begins to play,
The feeling when the eyes are heavy and the belly full,
I’ve been trying to learn the most direct path to these complexities
But the roads always blur, and my throat does not know the words

I am still growing into myself,
My arms a bit too long for my legs,
A mind a little heavy for these shoulders,
Eyes that see more than they should,
And ears that love the sound of
the sinner's tongue

Your body’s borders,
These walls crumbled,
All this unclaimed land,
Ready for the taking,
Conquer these cliffs
Sail my seas,
This nation of mine,
Brought to it’s knees

How much truth sleeps at the bottom of a bottle
So much soul lies with a drink in the hand
I downed shots of forget and apologies
I've drank cups full of women to whom I don't know names
These pockets run dry as my insides burn
And all my poems are written with a quivering hand.

The windows open wide
New England crept on in,
Dandelions bent under feet,
Cleansed in the morning dew,
What is this place?
The waters are calm here,
let us stay awhile,
Just until the daisies bloom

The bright lights will be
forever romantic in my eyes,
alley ways and corner stores
be the base of the neighborhood,
Momma says you gotta be out
of the house before the sun come up,
But you still got your liquor,
and your smoke,
all your cheap women and poetry,
You got that scratched record,
That throat that will sing them songs loud.
You just don't have yourself no more
That part of you is gone,
or was never even there.

Sometimes I have visions of you,
On occasion you cloud my dreams,
Most days are spent with saxophones
that only know how to sing your name
And most nights are spent sipping bottles
that might just drown all the butterflies
you left in my stomach

She is a library,
I say this because it is hard
to compare her to anything else,
Inside her walls lies story after story,
Knowledge that is wise far beyond her years,
She is a beauty,
one that will belong to no one but her own,
Sometimes she will lend me parts of herself,
Books I will treat as such,
which if anything is not my own,
I will hold her spine dear,
Careful not to damage the pages
Drink her words, let them sit in the pit of stomach,
She will call back for the borrowed parts
These temporary treasures,
I will carry close to my chest
And cherish every word

The way you move to this autumn jazz,
All the seasons and the colors they bring,
How my brother is still a child,
I hope he never grows into the vices of age,
Christmas in Baltimore stops the killings,
December snow unstained by the bleedings
The summer nights with you in my arms,
All the poems that I found paradise in,
And every moment that gave me the courage to write it down,

These finish lines lining my gut,
Scars of past encounters
Ive ran far too fast and far too long
to still be standing up straight,
My shoulders ripped from corner to corner,
A snake of a lesion lies between them,
hissing and curling itself into some knot,
For years now it has slept,
Cracked and shed it’s skin; strewn in ribbons across the floor,
Leaving nothing but that vice grip reminder
that it is only thing I have left of myself

Where has your heart gone?
Did it flee with the rest of you?
Fit inside your carry on as the
wings caught air beneath them,
Im tired of speaking in check points,
Ive been waiting at your gate for days now,
Hoping for you to round the corner,
Back to this most timid of loves,
I'll even hold your bags,
Come home soon.

I know sometimes I do not meet expectations
I know sometimes my voice quivers when I speak
I know sometimes these words can not fix all the broken things I have made,
I just want to patch the holes in the ceiling
I want to keep the storms away just a little while longer,
So you can dream of all the good you have left to give
And I can watch as you share your joy without a worry.
The song we sing is one that reinvents itself as time goes on
As long as the instruments stay tuned, than this song
will be the only music that I will listen to

I know that sunsets are the beginning of evening
I know that the night is some old romantic
I know the winter is the hardest for me
seeing all the life wither to a corpse
I know graveyards are just earthly beds
that burying bodies together makes it easier
for us to go through the afterlife instead of alone,
I know trumpets and saxophones still hold my heart
the warmth of their sounds melt away my fears,
I know that if I am to love I have to surrender
I know the boy in me is still struggling to become a man,
I know my heart is still heavy with you leaving
3 years now and counting, feels like the clocks stopped ticking
I know my mother is trying
I know my father is giving his best shot at remembrance
I know that there is still so much I’ve yet to learn
that everyday is to be made a lesson
I know I will continue to make amends
to build back the bridges i’ve burned
with all the timber left in my chest

This blood fat summer has swallowed me whole,
Gulped down my body in one swift inhale,
Living with this pair of fists battering my surface,
One resting on my jaw, another on my gut,
Sleeping under shingles and tin roves,
Waiting for night to settle itself in,
While the others dreamt in their beds,
I wandered twilight streets with a bottle and a question,
Saw my reflection in a puddle under streetlights,
Wondered who’s face stared back at me
An alien memory clawed its way out from beneath my skin
Left a scar for me to remember
The boy I once knew

bones that shiver in the wind
palms that cracked years ago
arms that are heavy to hold
legs that will carry this weight
all that we are,

sunlight in your teeth
the raindrops nestled in your hair
sidewalk chalk memories
I have seen the sky,

December night moons and
stars that danced together,

You are all the seasons
my body has merely observed
whatever the weather brings
I shall embrace with open arms

You are a walking smile
You think too much with your fists
You ask me for advice some days
And some days you choose to listen
I miss you and that city we grew up in
I hope it don't swallow you too.

Draining me of this september sorrow,
Drawing the wind back to my sails,
I've raised anchor,
Journeyed past those ocean depths,
Set my course for Elysium,
That paradise of your skin,
The taste on your lips,
I've eyed your neck,
Want my words upon it,
Written in shades of purple,
What a hunger we carry
Ready to sink our teeth in
To the crimson of this heat

Walking down the sidewalk,
We locked eyes,
Not knowing each other's names,
But both craving the same oh so much,
And we both can agree,
that neither of us is one for prayer,
Neither an angel nor sinner,
Punished in paradise,
Aware that you and me are 2 of a kind,
Stuck somewhere in-between,
I nod my head, you nod back,
Than we continue on this journey,
Knowing that it must be trekked alone.

The only thing I'm afraid of
is forgetting about this

Your sky scraper legs
Lead to the heavens
Some paradise in my eyes
I'll sing you songs of tomorrow
I'd love you like the beginning
You sleep to my dreams
The sounds of my lungs
How we hold this dear
This such fragile thing between us

Place upon my shoulders
your two bare hands,
Bless me like my father once did,
Read to me all the stories from
your umbrella mystery books,
Fly your kites back to my heart,
Butterfly strings and locust mornings,
Neck plucked of its feathers,
Rolling those crystal notes
out from the belly,
Teach me the noose knot,
I wish to rid of the past,
He told me to forget the skeletons,
They are only bones now