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torrey Apr 2015
I live in a distant fantasy
I play the role as whoever I awake
You see, the reality I lead is something I can't shake
I stand in slow motion while the rest of the world keeps spinning
Unsure of who I am or where's the beginning
Feelings only lukewarm
Surrounded by a catastrophic storm
Opening umbrellas inside
'Cause I can't seem to escape the rain
Resisting all the grudges and the pain
I never understood the mantra "fight or flight"
'Cause I was never one for confrontation
And I've never been ready for the departure
I've only been one to wait and harbor
So here I lay atop a bed of flowers
The dark cloud hovering above begins to shower
Watering every plant and every seed
Blossoming a new path from my lonely tower
Everyone knows there's beauty in a storm
*But nobody ever tells you what it's like to be so worn
torrey Apr 2015
I stare out of my warm sunlit window
Watching the solitary tree stand alone
Incredibly tall and fully grown
Only dancing in the wind with its leaves
So majestic, so at peace
The way the leaves move in such sweet relief

When the seasons change and the leaves start to fall
They begin to change colors and dwindle to to the lawn
I only ever admire from afar
For I am jealous of the lonesome tree
That stands proud and tall

When the tree is ready it says goodbye
The leaves start to change colors and begin to die
They fall with ease and grace
Ready for their fate
How does the tree just let go
Of something it's held onto for so long?
How does it part ways with something
That's grown into it's soul?

I wish I was like the lonely tree
I wish I stood noble and free
Effortless beauty and strength above all
Nevermore feeling small
Able to surrender my demons in a blink of an eye
Never questioning or asking why
Firm and notable
Never used as somebody's pawn
*If only I could be like the lonesome tree in my front lawn
torrey Mar 2015
Love makes me feel weak
Allowing entrance into my heart
Makes me feel weak
Feelings make me feel vulnerable
I can't seem to get comfortable
I'm trapped inside my head
Don't know what should be said
Too afraid to fall, to plunge into emotions
Afraid to taste love and accept love again
I'm slowly dwindling away
Deceived to believe I was doing better
When really I'm just a ghost
Hollow and cold
Stuck with this soul
I want to feel strong, I want to find my voice
I wish I could let people in
Stop being so stubborn
So for now I'm alone
Too scared to be let down
Don't you know,
*What goes up must come down?
torrey Mar 2015
She loved him like roses
She radiated light and heaven
Waiting for the stress to lessen
She liked to stay in the dark
Refusing to feel a spark
Always reaching for something broken
Her dreams never meant to be woken
He always did the same
Making himself impossible to claim
Radiating contentment and clarity
But still he was haunted and alone in the dark
I always appreciated his sincerity
He was nothing short of a king
How he'd enter a room and the girls would sing
Still he remained clueless to his charm
Always humble, afraid of causing harm
She ran and ran after the king
Incredibly impossible to seize
He wore his heart tucked away
Locked in a lonely box, meant to lay and decay
Hidden from every touch
Can't you see all the roses growing from your chest?
Can't you feel the thorns,
When you try and catch your breath?
She loved him like roses
Always beautiful,
Always sharp with her proposes
torrey Mar 2015
I find it so hard to write of myself right
now. What's really going on inside this cluttered
mess of a mind inside my brain, though I
feel it's a
                b
                  s
                     e
                        n
                           c
                              e during the day, and hear it's
presence when my world has slowed down. Only
ever aquiring thoughts and words irrelevant to any
main concerns. I block out the important things, too
scared to face the reality of everything. So lost
down this trail. Afraid to turn right, too afraid to go
left. I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm being burried
underground, n
                             e
                                v
                             ­      e
                                      r to be found.
I just need a light at the end of the tunnel, but instead
the light would be coming towards me. And all my
worries, and all my dreams would finally be put to ease.
torrey Mar 2015
From the beginning of time she was kissed by the sunlight
But even the moon sought love from such an unexpected muse
For she beamed of life and beauty during the day
But haunted in the shadows
Playing with fate every chance she could get
How could the moon not find love
In the twisted angel, fallen from above
Intrigued by her angelic face
And the way her every touch was full of life
Planting sunflowers everywhere she goes
Her laugh danced with demons
Always testing the waters
But never taking a sip
Always such a tease
But the devil watched
Waiting patiently for a kiss by such a rose
He'd wrap her up and hear her call
For the sun couldn't protect her
It was past her time to go
The devil scooped her up and away he fled
Ready to cut the needle from the thread
The moon glimmered at the sight of her plea
Begging "please don't take me, please just leave me be"
That's when the moon granted her, her wish
Gave her a kiss right on her wrist
From then on she was thought to be a Moon Child
Dark hair and light eyes
Just like her soul that lived inside
Parallel to the dark love radiating from the moon
Fueled by the sun
Just like the Moon Child once was
For Misery had found the child, once held by the sun
Once filled with light and love
Sunflowers now tainted by ivy
How someone once filled with something so mighty
Could suddenly feel so tiny
So tell me little Moon Child,
*Will you take a chance with the devil?
torrey Mar 2015
I live in a forbidden tower
Where I lay and count the hour
For I am trapped by the things that will eat me alive
See the monsters, they hide
Deteriorating everything that lives inside
There's all these things I wish I could say
But my tongue's always tied
My brain's always running
Always two steps ahead
Never doing, only worrying
Even when the world has slowed down
And the eyes have been shut
And all the judgements put aside
Still I find it easier to hide
To leave all the thoughts that roam my mind
Too scared to let them out and let them be free
You see, a girl like me is many things
Smart,
Caring,
Witty,
And lovely
But surely a coward somewhere in between
I wish it was easy for me to explain how I feel
I wish I could tell you what I really want to say
But I'm always choked up
Afraid to let people see me vulnerable
My thoughts too insufferable
The walls I built have grown
Too scared to not be alone
Maybe one day my prince will scale the walls
He'll fight a couple battles
Win a couple brawls
He'll finally come to me and say
*"There's no reason to worry for your dragons have been slain"
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