You are an *******.

You made me believe that every time you said I love you would be the beginning of something that would last forever, you made me believe that every time you held me in your arms it would be a safe place to go like the way that the birds fly into the trees and know that no matter where they go, they can always come home.

You made me believe that maybe someday I would be good enough to be somebody's mother.

You made me believe that when I looked into the mirror that I was somebody beautiful, not because of the way you held me, but that since you saw something and you never lied, it must be true.

So excuse me if I don't understand how you can look at me now as if I'm just an person in a picture that you forgot about, I don't know how you can look at her the way that you used to look at me and not feel the pain that I feel; knives ripping apart the heart that you worked so desperately to stitch back together then gave up on. I don't understand how you can say that you'd fight for her when you gave up your future with me so easily...

See... how can I go on with knowing that the future that I planned with you, the names that we named together, the plans that we made together would all crumble away with the few words "I don't think we should be we anymore." I accept my mistakes. I was not always right and I put too much on you, but I needed you...

I needed you and you left... because you said it was too much for you.

I told you that I could change and be better, but you said I was perfect just the way I was. You said that I didn't deserve you and when you said it, you meant I didn't deserve pain that you might put me through...

But you see...

How dare you tell me what I deserve.

How dare you tell me that my future that I planned with you was no longer an option. How dare you throw away the one love that listened to me when I said

"No. Stop. Please."

How can you look at me the way you did before before you knew the pain that I've gone through? I shared depths of my heart and parts of my soul that had never seen the sun, but now only know the warm light of your love.

I trusted you... And I trusted what we would become. I put all my eggs in a basket that wasn't woven quite right and watched helplessly as it fell apart. I hope that maybe someday you'll see what I saw and know that it's not fair for you to say I didn't deserve you when you made me feel like I deserved the world.

I just want you to see what I saw.

Somebody worth loving... and sharing my little part of eternity with.

~~
In touch of you,
one day, thousands of dreams grew on me
after that you left me in halfway
then little by little I have almost forgotten my dreams
forgotten that dreamy highway where there we walked together

Today I'm walking alone,
so alone,
towards an unknown way,
where there I hear my wounded dreams
and my love calling me,
calling me as if they are in a trap
As if they are in a cage
where there I see a narrow way,
I never go through such a way,
very congested,
little bit hazy,
too shadow,
dark,
and a few footsteps that I have seen
where there my dreams calling,
my lost love calling,
calling too loudly

Again I feel my heart has overflowed
floating over my lost dreams,
flooding over my lost love

I'm walking through that narrow way
little by little that sound has seemed strong,
little by little I have heard her voice to grow long
may be I am so close to my love,
so close to my dreams
my right hand moving,
moving through the dark
I try to break the shadow,
try to catch my dreams
I have become tired,
Try to take a little breath
and finally,
I break the shadow,
shatter the dark
and finding her within the dark
seeking my dreams within the shadow
but I can't see anything,

Yet the clock moving on--
still I'm uttering her name
and dreaming within my thousands of daydreams
where I had left one long spring--
~~
@Musfiq us shaleheen


---------------------------------
হাজারো স্বপ্ন ও একটি ভালবাসা
---------------------------------
তোমার স্পর্শে
একদিন যখন হাজারো স্বপ্ন
বুদবুদ করতো--  
তারপর মাঝ রাস্তায় রেখে
চলে গেলে তুমি--
আস্তে আস্তে
ভুলে যেতে থাকলাম সপ্ন গুলোকে,
ভুলে যেতে থাকলাম সেই স্বপ্নের রাজপথ
যে পথে হাটতাম আমরা -

আজ আমি একা
বড় একা-
এক অচেনা রাস্তায় হাটি,
যেখানে শুনতে পাই,
আমার আহত সপ্নেরা,
আমার হারানো ভালবাসা,
আমায় ডাকে-
শুনে যেন মনে হয়
তারা বড় অসহায়,  
মনে হই তারা বন্দী,
সেখানে একটা সরু রাস্তা দেখতে পাই
এমন রাস্তায় আগে কখনো যাই নাই
খুবিই দমবন্ধ করা-
খুবিই দুর্ভেদ্য-
ঘন ছায়া,
অন্ধকার,
ঔইখানে কিছু পদচিন্হ দেখি
সেখানে স্বপ্নরা ডাকে,
হারানো ভালবাসা ডাকে,
উচু স্বরে ডাকে-

আবার হৃদয় প্লাবিত হয়
যা ভাসছে হারানো সপ্নের উপর
প্লাবিত হচ্চে হারানো ভালোবাসের উপর

আমি সেই সংকীর্ণ রাস্তা দিয়া হাটি
আস্তে আস্তে শব্দগুলো স্পষ্ট হয়
আস্তে আস্তে  তার সুর সুনতে পাই
হইত আমি ভালবাসার খুবই কাছে
হইত সপ্নের খুবই কাছে
ডান হাত সরছে
চলছে আধারের মধ্যে দিয়ে
চেষ্টা করি ওই ছায়াকে দূর করতে
চেষ্টা করি স্বপ্নকে ধরতে
দারুন ক্লান্ত,
চেষ্টা করি একটু শ্বাস নিতে
এবং শেষে,
মুছে ফেলি ওই ছায়া
বন্ধ করি ওই আধার
খুজি ওই আধারে ভালোবাসা
খুজি সপ্নকে  ওই ছায়াতে
কিন্তু পাইনা খুঁজে কিছুই-

এখনো ঘড়ির কাটা ঘুরে
প্রতিনিয়ত তার নাম উচার্রণ করি  
সপ্নদেখি শত সহস্র দিবাস্বপ্নের মাঝে  
যেখানে আমি ফেলে এসেছি দীর্ঘ এক বসন্ত--
~~
@মুসফিক উস সালেহীন

Remember us?
Remember then?
Those days we were the best of friends
Our hearts were close
And our bond was strong
But placement of my hope was wrong

Remember us?
Remember when?
I thought our love would never end
You took my heart
Made me believe
But now it's hard to even see

Once you felt
And once you cared
What of the passion that we shared?
That love is gone
No you and me
I think of you and I can't breathe
I've lost a precious part of me

Losing you has always been
Among my greatest fears
To have what you and I had then
I yearn with every tear
I miss the tie that we had then
And think of what we could have been
I love you now
As I did then
For you were my most cherished friend

Now, as I try to get my head clear,
I'm hopelessly wishing those days were still here
Each thought of you is
A brand new tear
While I'm left alone wishing
That you were still here

You Were Red.
You Liked Me Cause I Was Blue.
You Touched Me;
And Suddenly I Was A lilac Sky And You,
Decided Purple Just Wasn't For You.

I read a story the other day.
I read the headline.
It said: There is no god and we are his prophets.
We drive slowly on Saturdays.
At night in our home there are noises,
the dull thumps of ghosts.
We used to comment. Now we rollover.
I wake and return the blankets I’ve stolen.

In the mornings there is music.
A kitchen dance of tip-toes and arms at war with air.
The new car with its heated seats.
There’s a pace I like.
It’s microwaved tea;
it’s 11:30 a.m.;
it’s one more chapter before.

I listen to you get ready,
a chorus of tubes uncapped
and capped, of hairdryers
plugged and unplugged.
You sing softly.
I hear this, too.

Beyond this house,
a brook, a mountain, a trout.
Distances mapped.
Plans drawn with
parallel lines, listless and drifting.
Within,
there is no god, and he is love,
and we are his prophets.
You are my practitioner.
And I, yours.

if you want it
take it
i should have said it before
tried to hide it
fake it
i can't pretend anymore
i only want to die alive
never by the hands of a broken heart
i don't want to hear you lie tonight
now that i become who i really am
this is
the part when i say i don't want you
i'm stronger than i been before
this is
the part when i break free
i can't resist it no more
you were better
deeper
i was under your spell
like a deadly
fever, babe
on the highway to hell
thought of your body
i came alive
it was lethal
it was fatal
in my dreams
it felt so right
but i woke up
every time

A dóggy drópped sóme Crappó
                   steaming ón the street,
a cóffee cólóred fungus
                   piled up óh só neat -
and there a juicy maggót
                   fóund it óh só sweet,
só simply sóft and tender,
                   just like a córpse's meat

Thee maggót, nót só clever
                   -  simple and untaught -
was dreaming óf attentión,
                   slimelight's what it sóught.
An empty-minded cómrade
                   certainly'd help a lót -
anóther wórm-like nóthing
                   just the thing! it thóught.
  
While ******* in the Lóg's brain
                   - óh quite a simple chóre -
it replicated pustules,
                   petty, ghastly, sóre.
And when the Lógy maggót
                   ****** in nóthing móre
it burst apart in wónder,
                   clóned Thee Artiste Whóre

Well, Petty Little Lógbrain,
                   Whóre, Thee Artiste crank
Are mixed up in the mire,
                   in mindless **** they sank.
Thee cópies creepy Crappó,
                   from pages where he stank.
and claims tó be Thee Artiste,
                   - Thee smell is simply rank

The móral óf this fable,
                   clear fór all tó see:
If fated with a Lóg brain
                   bear yóur destiny
and never let yóur EGÓ
                 rampage ón a spree!
Ór  else like Whóre and Crappó
                   yóu'll sóón turn intó Thee.



                CrE aka Trollminator