the day you thought
it out
i can imagine
it not

but today
no doubt
with words
i play

and on friendship
i am taught
and to this heart of mine
i try to grip

thankful i say
are we for this world
a home in the whirl
of silent frozen cold

"Don't stop dreaming" crooned a voice in my ear
But dreaming re-enforces fear
Slumber comes and shreds my thoughts
Subconscious wars are brought and wrought.

Inside my skull holds evidence of
Bruised purples and nightmare reds
Sleep shreds my mind between its teeth
And wretches it across; bequeath

Across the walls, across the room
Across the shadows, through the gloom

BUT IT GOT PUBLISHED PUBLICLY IM SORRY

Mozes split the sea
one side, you, the other me
my focus kept from widening
perception almost frightening
I could only stare
waves returned, colliding
responsible for guiding
Mozes did not care
about dividing
or possible providing

When I look at you,
I see someone I adore
Someone who is beautiful, sweet, and kind
The imperfections I do not mind

When I look at you,
I see you are fading away
Into a state of decay
And yet still beautiful and sweet
But fighting something you cannot defeat

When I look at you,
I see someone who has been hurt from the beginning
And someone who's love of life is dwindling
I don't care, I will be there
Through thick and thin
I will be there to lift up your chin
I am going to be there for you
There are things I wish you knew

When I look at you,
I see someone I love
I will be there;
Until you can fly free like a dove

The damage a storm can do
isn't even close to how I felt after you

You never realise how completely worthless
something is, up until the electricity goes off

"Do you...?"
The elder asked in late September,
It wasn't difficult, I knew the answer,
But still I paused, briefly undisturbed
And every detail, I suddenly remembered:

Glancing look
Batting eye
Short of breath
Long sigh.

Chest pocket
Slightly pounds,
Deep breath...
"Nice to meet you"

Charming smile,
Class Monday,
First touch,
Dinner Friday?  

Silent pause,
Checks calender
"That'll work!"
Phone number.

Sweating palms
Nerves swell
Deep breath...
Doorbell.

Dad's request,
Home at eight,
"Movie premier?"
Second date.

Hand in mine,
Afraid to miss,
Eyes close,
First kiss.

Throat tightens
Tears form
First fight
Cheeks warm.

Things I said,
Were never true,
You see... Because..
Well... "I love you."

Bended knee
Golden band
White box
Take my hand?

Five maids
Five men
White dress
Violin.

Chest pocket,
Slightly pounds.
Sweating palms,
Nerves swell.
Throat tightens,
Tears form;
"Do you..?"

The elder asked in late September,
It wasn't difficult, I knew the answer.