I am done,
Trying to keep people in my life is exhausting
Whether they try to stay or don’t
Can’t handle myself, let alone someone else
No I don’t hate you or talk of you
No more sad thoughts about you
Stop thinking about me it’s not worth it
Was I ever here, you won’t know
But it’s better that I just ****** let you go

I haven’t been feeling good.
It’s not because a person or situation though
It’s just me.
So after manic episodes and sobbing loads
I go to the hospital
I go once, twice, three times
By the third I’ve given up and scream for help
But with no such luck
So they give me more meds
Say I’ll be fine
But how am I fine if I’m numb inside?

My stomach pokes out a little bit
But that’s normal isn’t it

Every look and stare gives me a scare
I’m big and bold but liking the attention is rare

Please don’t look at me
I’m not that interesting

I’m just trying to get by
Do my best not to die

I hate how I look
From my ****, to my hips, to my thighs to everything UGH

Why must I look like a girl
When I just want to be a random entity in this world

Gender is confusing
Looks are deceiving
But you hella know my confidence is fleeting

So please don’t look at me
It’s really scary

Don’t tell me I’m cool
I feel like a fool

Just leave me alone
Why do you think I never pick up my phone

I am just an imposter in this freaky society
Not a man, nor a woman, just kinda in-between

So don’t look at me
Don’t perceive me
I already feel I don’t exist

Don’t look at me deep in my eyes
For you’ll start to hear all my cries
From the nights where I hated myself the most
To the days where I can’t take it anymore

So please
Don’t look at me.

How can a natural thing hurt so much
Why do our brains turn love to dust
I don’t understand why this feels so wrong
Trying to eat just takes so long
I’ll never understand why my brain does this
Tells me no one could love this
I apologize to those I meet
For I am not yet settled on my two feet

You’re asleep
I should be too
I’m not okay
Nor are you
But days with you feel better
Dreams with you feel sweeter
You give feeling to a gray world
Thank you

I am not a happy ending
I am not true love
Sadly I’m a phase
A siren who has come from above
I do not yet know what love is
Do not expect me to give it
For I am not a soulmate
I am not love.

I’m an empath , to not give is sin
So I will stretch myself paper thin
And when I rip, fix me with tape
Sadly for me , there’s no escape