I'd like to be found.

Lost.

A concept I have befriended.
The lack of knowledge of oneself
Brings forth thoughts to-wit none but I are privy.

I wish I understood these thoughts.

I like sweet things.

They call it "a sweet tooth",
I'd say that's somewhat true.
But my tooth tends to sweeten
Only when my days turn to blue.

The world brings you down...
Then the sugar hits
And for a moment you feel the delicious energy
Surging through your veins.

You feel the dark become a little bit brighter,
And the hues of the blue no longer weigh down as much,
Upon your bruised shoulders.

Sugar just makes the world...
A bit sweeter.
So I'll run on a sugar rush.

Remember when we'd sit together in class?
You'd work and I'd try to make you laugh.
The teacher always hated how distracted I was.

Remember when we'd walk around the school?
Eyes glared but that was never what caught my attention.

Remember those movies we saw?
The tales we told over coffee and ice cream after?
I'd sit there captivated by your smile as the time passed us by.

Remember all the stupid things I did?
All the idiocy you inspired?

I remember it all...
How could I forget?

The wind blows,
I hold steady.
The waves tug,
I refuse to budge.
The flames ignite,
I'll withstand the burns.
The earth shakes,
I'll find my balance.

I will never yield
To the forces that try to bring me down.
Noone ever won,
Without standing their ground.

Unhappy with the choices that have been given to me,
Like I'm missing something essential to me.

Say I've got to work hard
To put in the hours,
Make money in a job that holds power.

Why is that the goal you have in mind for me?
If you could see me looking down in a class
that makes me feel trapped within a boundary,
Would you choose my future so blindly?

Understand I don't write as a hobby,
I don't create as a pastime,
I do it as a part of me.
I refuse to be robbed of that

I want to tell you a story.
It doesn't have a happy ending,
No sweet beginning
Or teary ******.

I want to tell you a story,
But the end is not yet written.
For now the tale lies somewhere between,
With no clue to an ending.

I want to tell you a story,
But I'm not yet sure how this one goes.
I want to tell you a story,
I don't know much,
But I'll tell you what I know.

Right now I'm feeling dead inside,
But sometimes it really  feels like worlds collide.
Try as I might
I can't make all these emotions subside.

They say "You know it's real when it hurts",
But I can't stand to do this over and over
And not question the worth.

There's only so many blows you can take,
Before blow for blow it takes all your are,
And leaves you in a state
Of heartlessness
Broken apart and it's
Just easier to not feel
Than to feel part of this.

But you can't understand the struggle that I'm going through.
Everything everyone says and my overthinking just puts me
Over the edge.
I'll sit on top the ledge
Drinking from a bottle of gin,
And let fate decide where I fall.