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 Sep 2019 Syd
Anastasia
my dear
 Sep 2019 Syd
Anastasia
the sun goes down
whenever you leave
it always hurts less
when you're next to me
the moon is out
and the flowers miss the sun
i wish you were here
my dear, my only one
 Sep 2019 Syd
uselace
smile
 Sep 2019 Syd
uselace
"I liked your smile better
When you were younger,"
She said
I was tempted to ask why
But we both knew.
It's harder to smile now.
 Sep 2019 Syd
Samtoy
Cherry Blossom
 Sep 2019 Syd
Samtoy
You are the cherry blossom
And I am the land
Each time that you fall
I'll catch you with my hand
I'll always be there for the one I love
And I'll catch her whenever she fall
She's given to me by God from above
Her love i will forever hold
 Aug 2019 Syd
Em MacKenzie
If life gives you lemons
just be thankful it’s not a lime,
and when squeezing it
avoid getting the juice in your eye this time.
 Aug 2019 Syd
Danielle
Be Me
 Aug 2019 Syd
Danielle
You're my favorite kind of thief,
stealing my heart,
but letting me be.
 Aug 2019 Syd
Bummer
i’m cold and I want to cry.
I know you’re on my side, but I want you by my side.
 Aug 2019 Syd
WILLIAM WORTHLESS
all i ever wanted was the love you gave
now its just a memory there for me to save
all the miss you nights keeping me awake
never thought that one day my heart you would break.

you just walked away you wanted to be free
rip my world apart broke the heart in me
now my world is empty not like it used to be
in the world i knew there was you and me.

lonely nights and heartache a heart thats broke in two
memories i dream of. and the love i knew
all i ever wanted was the love you gave
now it just a memory there for me to save

you just walked away you wanted to be free
rip my world apart broke the heart in me
now my world is empty not like it used to be
in the world i knew there was you and me.
 Aug 2019 Syd
Mak
where I'm at
 Aug 2019 Syd
Mak
When I was younger I experienced emetophobia, an intense fear of *****. I would sit and wonder to myself, “What if I threw up right now?” and sent myself into a spinning cycle of worry, making me feel perpetually nauseous and no doubt making the situation worse overall. During one of my routine check ups at my pediatrician, I worked up the courage to ask my doctor about it. I told her I felt nauseous almost constantly and I’m terrified of throwing up. She told me that fear can be a powerful thing. I was probably just experiencing anxiety that I caused myself. A self-fulfilling prophecy almost.
Both of my wonderful parents have Multiple Sclerosis. I can’t help but wonder if somehow it’s part of a bigger plan. The truth of the matter is, I have nightmares about it. Will I get sick? How will I work a normal job? Will I still be able to pay my bills? Will I be cursed with this setback before my life has really even begun?
I’ve been sick the past couple days. Nausea, physical weakness, tingles in my legs and hands, shaking fingers and a crazy case of the spins. My logical side tells me it’s probably nothing. A vitamin imbalance or my dosage of Lithium is too high. This has only happened once before and it went away in a few days. Regardless of how many times I try to reassure myself, I keep jumping back to the same basic anxiety that fueled my fear of vomiting. The brain’s ability to persuade is a powerful thing. Is it possible my anxiety is just manifesting itself? Is that even possible? I’ve heard of cases where the body mimics symptoms of pregnancy, down to the swollen belly and milk production. If the body is capable of tricking someone into thinking they’re creating life, what makes me think this misery I’m going through now isn’t just some cruel trick my brain is playing on me? Is it really worth spending a thousand bucks I don’t have just to find out I’m just an anxious person? I already knew that.
I’m finding myself at a crossroads here. My new life in Wichita Falls isn’t all I thought it would be. I’ve made no friends, I’m not doing well at work. The only thing I have going for me is my GPA, and I’m scared that if this anxiety keeps up, I won’t even have that. Here I am, rambling to a Google document that can’t do anything to fix me. Am I losing it? Am I just too deep into my own head? I have a tendency to sabotage myself out of success due to fear of failure. Maybe that’s what’s going on.  
If there really is something going on with my health, I’m not sure how I’ll tackle that mentally. It’s like my worst fears are coming to life in front of me. I’m far away from the people that care about me and it seems as though I’m headed toward the worst possible scenario I had cooked up in my head before moving here. I’m not sure if people really do dislike me or if I’m just so socially anxious that I’ve convinced myself to expect the worst. There are some days I think about giving up and moving back home, but I don’t want to be seen as the girl who chickened out of independence because she wasn’t cut out for the success she sought after. I’m scared of failing, but even more so of disappointing those around me. Perhaps I’m scared of not being as good as everyone thinks I am. I don’t know.
If anyone has any advice, that would be highly appreciated.

— The End —