They say you can't fall anymore than Rock Bottom
But I've painfully crashed a thousand times, and
melted into the Earth's Core; filling the cracks
With liquefied remains of what I became...a failure.
My broken pieces caught in alluring lies
and tangled Bed Sheets
Rock Bottom is every bed
A boy has invited me in
Because I could not accept
God's knock on my chest.
Rock Bottom is every cigarette
I've shakenly put between my lips
Because I could not let
God's words fill me.
Rock Bottom is each step away
from my Body
Because my soul-my remains
Are left alone above someone's covers.
My soul is locked away in a room
I can never return to.
It's been captured in his bed.
So I fill myself with broken glass
hoping the reflection of what once was
shines through.
I drown myself in self-deprecation
Praying that a form of baptism
Will return my soul to me...
But it wont.
Not until I open my chest,
Not until I fill my lungs
with scripture.
My soul was captured
Because God told me
Who the Devil was...
Charismatic, body like a snake, and
Eyes filled with love...maybe lust?
But the thought of happiness captivated me
And comfort was found in his arms...
I ignored God- calling him a fool.
Now, I must heal and find my soul
Because I didn't listen the first time.
I open my chest
My lips spill with alcohol soaked apologizes
And He still holds me,
Cares for me,
He has not Forsaken me...
like I had Forsaken myself.
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