Water.
Needed to survive.
Powerful enough to drown.

It can both quench & choke.
Often we suppress it in a comforting 16oz glass.

But sometimes,
Sometimes we find ourselves gasping to be released from the very thing that sustains us.

There's a certain irony to that.
To life.

Our control seeps out between our tight grasp like condensation; rings of unease stain our previously unmarred reality.

As if we have a hope of subduing something so elusive...

For the person who hurt me deeply.
Who is hurting deeply.
I forgive you.
I'm here.
I'll always be here.

The hurt you've caused is buried deep,
I suffer the consequences of your actions, they fester and steep.

Yet I realized something yesterday.
I hurt.
You hurt.

I have lost you, not by choice.
But you are my best friend, I still need to hear your voice.

I'm losing not just the future I saw, but my best friend.
Why would I choose to lose both parts?
I cannot overcome this loss, this death of both love and friendship.

Sometimes you are so quiet, I forget your thoughts are loud,
I forget you are suffering because you hide it so well, I know of this you are incredibly proud.

But even the strong do not always prevail alone.
I'm willing to put my feelings aside for the chance to hold my best friend close.

It will burn me, but one day it will scar.
Friends hurt together.
So hurt with me.

So please, just know I'm here.
You always have a place where you are welcome, where someone cares, where you can feel safe.
And safely feel.
No questions.
Less trust, more history, but never less love.

You are not alone.
I will never let you suffer through this painful part of life on your own.

-Love, untitled

society: be yourself

society: no, not  *like that

Like a moth to a flame,
You pulled me in.
You were a bright light in a dark place.
You made everything brighter.
You kept me warm.

I'll hold on while I burn.
Incinerating myself for the chance to extinguish your pain.
So I can be a light for you.
Until I'm gone, I'll keep holding on.
I'll be your ashes to rise from, for the sake that you were mine.

This morning,
I lost an earring.
Last year,
I lost you.

And you're not around now,
You won't see me graduate.
And you're not here,
So you wouldn't know how much I miss you.

And sometimes I wonder if it's better,
If those childhood stories about Heaven are true,
If you've gotten your memories back,
Your happiness back.

And I know that we had good times,
That plastic teacups were more important
Than plastic chairs bolted down
In uncomfortable hospital waiting rooms.

But maybe I'm being selfish,
Wanting you to be here with me.
Maybe I should be grateful that I even knew you,
That I had the honor to call you Pappy.

And I'll always miss your thick glasses.
And I'll always miss the way you sang just because you felt like singing.
And I'll always miss how you laughed.
And I'll always miss you.

And this morning,
I lost an earring.
But at least I can find it later,
Sitting on the bathroom sink.