I'm sorry.

For what?

Everything.

I don't understand.

I know.

Will you explain?

No.

Why not?

I can't.
I'm sorry.

I lied, he actually meant everything to me.
I lied because I was afraid of what he'd do to me.
I lied and now my stomach is in knots,
my heart only beats.
I lied for the sake of safety, but this safety feels like hell.
I lied and now I can barely get out bed.
I lied and everything feels different.
I lied because it was easy.
I lied and now I can't even remember why I lied.
I lied and now my body is just bones.
I lied to spare myself, but I wish I hadn't.
I lied to myself, and now I'm numb.
I lied, uneasy and in love.
I lied, how foolish.
I lied, how dumb.

It Hurts
It hurts knowing
it will never be the same
having to see you
with someone else
acting like it doesn't cause me pain
seeing you laughing
having a good time
while i wonder
why i can't call you mine
while my eyes are filled with tears
and i can only see blurry
i take a deep breath
and tell myself not to worry
because deep down i know what's true
i am still deeply in love with you
~J.O

Years had elapsed
My love did’t change

I find myself,
Depressed.
Discarded.
Over cried.

i have found what you are like
the rain,

            (Who feathers frightened fields
with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields

easily the pale club of the wind
and swirled justly souls of flower strike

the air in utterable coolness

deeds of green thrilling light
                                  with thinned

newfragile yellows

                      lurch and.press

—in the woods
                      which
                              stutter
                                        and

                                              sing
And the coolness of your smile is
stirringofbirds between my arms;but
i should rather than anything
have(almost when hugeness will shut
quietly)almost,
                  your kiss