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Silence Sep 2015
I sit in the middle of the classroom
Because the back is too deceiving
And the front is too noticeable.
I sit in the middle.
I sit in the middle of happiness.
Because depression is too deceiving.
And pure happiness is too noticeable.
I sit in the middle of myself.
Because I'm not deceiving enough.
And I never want to be noticed.
I sit in the middle of life.
Because the past is too deceiving.
And the future is too noticeable
  Sep 2015 Silence
Joshua Haines
Old men fascinated by teen *****
and the hues harnessed by high school hips,
I ask you to look at something corrupted:
yourself, this town, this world.

The town's lumber supplier has died
and daughters fight over dollars.

Greasy haired women, wearing denim,
smoking menthols and bruised with cheap make-up,
stand on fractured sidewalks.

I walk, wearing a Native American-ized fleece,
the Chippewa crush their cigarettes
and blink like lizards at me
because I wear bastardization,
but wash it.

Half the town smokes,
and if you ask the pastor,
the whole town smokes
because everyone's going to hell.


All the girls read John Green
and flip the pages because it's a cheaper escape than a bus ticket.

Plato said that everything changes
and nothing stands still;
these people will suffer,
their bodies will break down,
and they will die --
but what never changes is their hope
in eventual death.

What cannot change is my hope
in something more.
Ashland, Wisconsin
  Sep 2015 Silence
Joshua Haines
Tortured people tell themselves the past never happened.
They sit and reminisce about memories that they created.

Their hands are brown and worn down,
looking like a sibling of the ground that will eventually be a tomb for their bodies.

The teeth are fake and so are the smiles.
Hair falls off like rusty leaves brushed by a breeze, warning of the death of winter.
Limbs turn into string, ******* hang, and guts grow; like pregnant, stray cats.

Whenever they die, their houses will be eaten by their children, and not even a piece of gristle or a picture frame will be left.

The house will be nothing but a sun-dried ribcage:
a discarded postcard with the address marked out.

The children will sit and talk of their parents, repressing the abuse and the inability to meet expectations.

The children will work in sterile cubicles, thankful that their hands will not be stamped by calluses, yet knowing their fathers would not approve.

The children will open up the dust-blanketed boxes and stare at old family pictures, not able to recognize the people who smile and have perfect posture.

The children will lay in bed with their spouses and say, to no one in particular,
'Why was it never enough?
What did I do?

Was it me?'

The children will be tortured by these words,
by lives that weren't in technicolor,
by the paranoia of being tolerated instead of liked,
by the anxiety that a paid-off house
and nice car couldn't alleviate,
by themselves.

The children will retire and will have realized that they worked their entire lives just to enjoy ten years.
Their hair follicles will let go of strands and locks,
like a dandelion being stripped by the wind.

The enamel on their teeth will corrode and, before long, they will be thankful for the sensitivity of their teeth because the coldness of senior-citizen-discounted ice cream will be one of the few things they will be able to feel, let alone put a genuine smile on their face.

They will sit on their recliners, stare at their keyboard-kissed fingers and tell themselves the past never happened.

Because that's what tortured people do.
Ashland, Wisconsin
Silence Sep 2015
My heart is on fire
With love.
Love for people I don't know.
It's on fire
With passion.
Passion for things I don't like.
It's on fire
With pain.
Pain because of him.
It's on fire
With the memory of his kiss.
With the happiness I remember.  
With my childhood.
With laughter.
Tears.
Smiles.
Life.
Death.
Its on fire.
And I'm terrified the flame is going to go out.
Silence Sep 2015
He kissed me.
Soft
Then harder
And harder.
Our breath intertwined.
Passion.
I felt alive.
My skin on fire with every touch.
The rage in my heart growing with every kiss.
Him on top of me.
Making me forget my name.
I moaned
And he knew.
He knew he had me right where he wanted.
He whispered in my ear.
'You're all I've ever wanted.'
He kissed me  
And I knew
There was no way
I couldn't fall for the boy
Who kissed me.
Silence Sep 2015
I'm in love with a boy I've kissed once.
Who I know I'm bound to never kiss again.

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed twice.
First one so sweet.
Second one so bitter.

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed three times.
Each for the words 'I love you.'

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed four times.
Each one better than the last.  

I'm in love with a boy I've never kissed.
Silence Sep 2015
I'm falling.
I'm falling for a boy who doesn't know I'm falling.
I'm falling for a boy who holds me like I'm his.
I'm falling for a boy who holds every girl like their his.
I'm falling for a boy who I've kissed once.
I'm falling for a boy who's kissed everyone once.
I'm falling for a boy who's mother adores me.
I'm falling for a boy who looks at me and see something.
But maybe that's just a girl to sleep with.
I'm falling for a boy who could be the one.
The one who breaks my heart.
I'm falling.
I'm falling for a boy who doesn't know I'm broken.
I'm falling for a boy who thinks I'm beautiful.
I'm falling for a boy.
I'm falling.
I'm falling.
I'm falling and I'm afraid to land.
I'm falling and he doesn't know I'm falling.
I'm falling and
I hope he's falling to.
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