Light glistening through Winter’s stillness leads awareness to its deeper truth

beneath the anguish of sorrow
within the resistance to hope
I let go
into the sigh of surrender
where a tenderness washes over
this wounded heart
whispers of love
emerge through its cracks
crowding the silence,
filling the emptiness
and subtly piercing the dark

A boy sits alone
cornered by the conflict
darkness pervades the room
silence cradles his crying

A mother sits alone
in the corners of her mind
darkness pervades her life
silence cradles her crying

Together they sit alone
in silence
waiting for the light to pervade
their darkness

Nighttime bequeathed it’s darkness
to the lightness of morn
while silence lingered
in the stillness of dawn
the whispers of life
made themselves known

I want to write that in front of every achievement
I want to write it at the head of every poem I write

And I don’t think I will be able to create anything
At least, nothing I am proud of
Without an asterisk explaining
This is my depression work

For depression affects everything
Infects everything
Dims my worldview and
Makes me irrational, hypocritical and
Turns me into someone I am ashamed to be

Depression takes away half of my once-brilliant mind
It leeches off my creativity
Drains the enchanting, poetic optimism inside me
Until everything I think, everything I create, everything I am
Disgusts me

So
Just as a reminder
This is my depression work

With such ease
they cross the street, walk straight, and talk to each other
With incredible calm
they work, flirt, talk and move
up and down, side to side, in and out
like a performance with no rehearsal
While I struggle and words stuck in my throat
for the tiniest conversation,
For I make the most simple social interaction
a great feat
For I retreat in exhaustion
after what might be the easiest of the days outside myself.