eyes closed
palms gently resting against my thighs
deep inhale
slow exhale
repeat
this is all i know
that will be with me in the future
as i close my eyes
and feel my chest expand and retract
as i become aware of the places on my body
that connect and ground me with the earth
i find peace
in knowing that this will be the same
decades down the road
i'll always have my constant breathing to come back to
the stimulus
darkness
and the sensations
will be the same ones that i will experience
once i graduate
once i get my first job
once i kiss the love of my life
once i give birth and hold my child
once i experience the grief and loss of my parents
i will have my breathing to come back to
i will have the soothing movement
of my chest
to remind me of my constants in life

like a bird track
in the snow

even though
I felt you

your footprint was light
and your voice

distant

as if spirited off
by a stiff and bitter wind

whit howland © 2020

Purple sadness
Is the sadness of classical music and
Eggplant sandwiches alone at my desk

It mixes the blue sadness of
Drowning in an ocean
Of salt

With the red sadness of
a fire blazing
In the pit of my stomach

So yes purple sadness is heavy like blue
and hot like red
And it sounds like Mozart
Tastes like fleshy fruit grown deep in the earth.

And it’s empty.
Empty.
Empty.