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1.4k · Jan 2022
self-sabotage
Sophia Jan 2022
i can't ignore, the way it makes me feel
the cut of a thousand stars
soaring, fragmenting
falling into tiny pieces
i left you
wanting more
but all that remains
is a casket of ruins
for a forgotten love
when everything is easy
i'll stand in my own way
like a villain in my own story
the harshness of me
burning against the softness of you
this fleeting feeling
is so temporary
alone at last
but it is not
where i want to be.
818 · Jan 2021
running back
Sophia Jan 2021
mostly i think about
all the different ways
i could undress your mind
every feeling laid out on the table
words leave your mouth
and land in mine
i watch as your lips curl
while your eyes blink
wrapping me up
in colours reflecting you
even in my dreams
i'm always running back
to you.
788 · Nov 2020
For V.
Sophia Nov 2020
a raincloud sits above my head
from time to time
i find it hard to brave these dismal skies.

but then you come along,
as you do.

with a light behind your eyes
a fire in your soul
and you build me up
so much so,
i no longer feel small.

my greatest friend,
that is why
when the going gets tough
and the world caves in
you come along,
as you do
and then i remember
what it means to feel loved.
645 · Jan 2022
january, 7th
Sophia Jan 2022
weary eyes
sinking deeper
into sheets that are so heavy
these pillows suffocating
and holding onto every drawn out breath
a pillow for my shattered bones
lay to rest
i break delicately
falling slowly
in and out of all that i know
and all that seems to be
a woeful slumber
my darkest dreams
meandering
through sunken hills
the feeling lingers
and then it is lost
507 · Jan 2022
midnight blue
Sophia Jan 2022
here in this moment
i hear him sing
the midnight moon
midnight blue
paints the mood
here
in this hour
stuck on you
winding roads
leading to nowhere
i call to the trees
mimicking his stance
like he's here with me
but he is towering
over someone else
somewhere else
356 · Nov 2020
love is in bloom once again
Sophia Nov 2020
softly in a dream; you come to me
arms stretching out towards your light
i am overwhelmed, tip toeing through life
but softly in a dream; i am taken to a higher place
with you
i realise
  love is in bloom once again

now, i know not to run away
  from fear or from failure
i am anticipating the fool in me
falling gently for you
all i am; encapsulated as a soft breeze
merely indulging in the rush of things
yet swaying softly between the trees
i realise
   love is in bloom once again.

my heart composes a melody
every time we meet
which is complimented through every
word uttered from the harmonies you devise
softly in a dream; i wake with thoughts of you
i know i am safe until my demise,
laying contentedly by your side
for, i realise
  love is in bloom once again.
246 · Jan 2022
Untitled
Sophia Jan 2022
i walked the feeling
reaching the end of the path
i wasn't ready to let it go
i could drown in the pits of hell
if it meant i could wallow
in your calm sea for a while
but these are words you'll never hear
not from me
how can i live not knowing
your touch?
214 · Nov 2020
days spent
Sophia Nov 2020
spending my days
in between the sheets
peeking out at the sky as it speaks
one deep sigh
i watch as it shifts
from night time
to day time
flicking through the shades of blue
mixing together, painting a solemn hue
i hardly notice that time has gone by
until the new day arrives
sitting all alone
wasting all my time
164 · Nov 2020
the eye of the storm
Sophia Nov 2020
we saw the storm brewing
like watercolour dripping on a page
each section of the sky, a different shade of blue
like when the milk in a cup of coffee curdles
and splits in two.

i should throw it all away,
or wash it down the sink
but when the dust settles
i'll still have so much to say,
by then it'll be too late.

we saw the storm brewing,
but we stayed quiet in the stillness
like a train stuck in it's tracks
because although the end was near
the sun would sometimes shine
through the dark clouds
which plagued the air above us.

yes, we saw the storm brewing
but it did not prepare us
for when the storm finally came.
151 · Nov 2020
somewhere else
Sophia Nov 2020
i am a stray
dragging my feet through the mud
waiting for the sun to drop
so i can hide in the shadows
for a little while.

i am not where i belong
i am stuck in a wave of pitfalls
but the earth keeps revolving
can it not hear me?
can it even see me?

when i scream,
beg,
plead,
for it to stop,
for it to slow down
so i can catch up
my body is here
but my mind is somewhere else.
a poem i wrote about disassociation.
129 · Nov 2020
exit wounds
Sophia Nov 2020
i watch as you pass me by
silent by no means; loud in the uncertainty
you walk this earth
knowing the dull ache
which life sometimes brings
accustomed to the serene scenes
that would quickly be overcome
as the bandage slips off
submerged in water; drowning.

wearing the exit wounds
revealing the gaping gashes
inflicted by the ones
you claimed to love
but these fair-weathered entities
never seemed to keep their promises.

they never cared to change
why would they?
they're not like you and i
they're just a candle in the wind
slowly burning out
we're just getting brighter.

— The End —