In my mind I still watch that recording of the day we met at the coffee house,
When you smiled at me I have to admit I swallowed my tongue and my stomach screamed,
I am surprised of how I talked for that long five minutes to be precise my longest conversation with an angel,
Especially because we had nothing in common and you hated poetry and I hated music,
But now I’m stuck with earphones on my ears even if I don’t like Khalid,
I still recall pouring coffee on my laptop and you ran all around looking for a rag to wipe it out,
I had stalked you for days I have to admit,
I would stare when you served those customers with no sign of a flaw,
I try to be docile and don’t wanna act awkward but that waitress outfit arouses me that smile makes me stop thinking and wonder where you are from,
The way you treat me and wrap your soft hands around me and every piece of me pauses,
You look like the sun but stunning like thunder and here I am and ask if I stand a chance strike me to death,
Show me how you do it,
Steal my heart again I want to feel it more and more ,
Or maybe can I get your number and walk you to the park on the weekend and maybe I might open my stupid heart,
I just hope you don’t treat everyone the same as I ,
Hope I just stand a chance,even though this is the third time you’ve given me wrong number and I end up calling your office manager with the male voice,
I don’t want to think you are taken,
RUSSELL

Dreams of a candy man
I don’t want to regret  any more
Hope it’s going to be good as it gets,
She has secret-admirers ,
Ones that can ****,others with looks to ****,
Ones that can provide,others with ability to provoke,
She has dreams and dream-chasers,
Dreams of taking a stroll down the park taking ice cream  with the man in her dreams,
Dreams of a sweet marriage,a sweet wedding with the prince,
If she loves money …?
I can’t tell but if she does,the dream-chasers haunt her with charms ,promises
Dream-chasers turning her head up trusting her heart than her mind
She’s got a sweet smile,warming like the sun
Speaking of the sun maybe I aimed to high

If love would have had a face then yours would have been the perfect
If love would have chosen a medium then I would be lonely

On behalf of my heart
Representing my failing body
I don’t see you like I should and believe it aches my heart
This is what I was born to be looking so misunderstood
If this is it then I feel displaced for it is aching more when I hate myself
I’m in war with peace I need the peace but it fights me to my grave using shovel to burrow the grave
I pray to God my knees on the ground arms crossed to the chest  
Say Amen with eyes closed and spirit ascending
To let your eyes look into mine
See the struggle that I put into this dream
Never sleeping so that I won’t wake up dead

I do this for you even if there is no us
I do this for us even if there is no you  
You are my trust even if it ain’t a must
They say it’s a curse but I don’t mind even if it causes a fuss
It’s true I have trust issues but you are my trust
Love is a beautiful thing but yours is more than that
You are my inspiration I think you’ll **** me
I’ll go crazy fighting for your attention you are a queen without a king or with I don’t want to know but let me try
Maybe my pen won’t last forever but for your love I’ll wait forever
I love more than anything you deserve more than diamonds

This is straight from my heart,
Hope you believe me,no one can stop us,
We’ve got the energy in our body,
Unity in our minds,love at display,haters at our dispose and the world at our feet,
But I can only live my life,
For you only judge a book but never open the pages,
Deep down you’ve got a fire that you feed with darkness and the embers are turning you into a monster but you also get hotter ,
Begging you everyday to reason with me is now a prayer that’s like a dead idol I’ve been trying to pray to never getting enough,digging down my pockets taking all that I have never understanding it’s not easy for me,
But still like a deaf dumbfounded boy i still love with all your flaws and sins because that is my way of giving compliments
Girl there is a difference between girl I need you and I want you,girl I need you beside me. At least even if making you happy will take me to the grave hope that you’ll bring flowers to my grave and take your dinner at the fence


While am gone hope you’ll find someone to treat you better because I see the devil in your eyes I can see the wolf at your door fighting for a hollow crown in a kingdom of one where you want to play god
I wish that you leave a bunch of roses so that I won’t give up even when am gone so that I can pay any prize to be in your arms again coz I’ll be with you even where border try to keep us apart burry me where when the urge is strong I can rise to be in your arms again even though you’d cause my death

What’s life?what’s this life?
What’s behind this lie?such a great lie,
At birth is when it begins,they say a beautiful child but when it grows up what a monster face it develops,during breastfeeding still being fooled while all they want is for you to be silent for peace in their ****** souls then fooling you to go for the sweets,just to make you walk so as to remove a burden of carrying  your forsaken body and when you walk they give you work fooling you with three meals a day. And when you grow your teeth they take you to school asking you not to joke and work hard while all they want is what you get at the end of the torture. When you fail the spank is the only truth that engulfs your childhood. When you grow up  they still fool you to go and get a spouse. That’s where the greatest lie manipulates and and lays its eggs to hatch and become more mutant. A life full of arguments a life full of mistrust a life full of doubt coming each day home just to add salt to the wounds two great enemies under a single roof and their offsprings as fuel and spectators to this war full of battles never won where no one knows what will happen next while no one takes precautions where anything can happen but none is afraid where the masculine show their ego and their counterparts which weaker power but a spiteful mouth that acts as firewood to the never ending battles. And still lie to the offsprings each feeling right and offsprings get lies from both sides
Get a work and still the boss lies to you and all he wants is a profitable business so as to stuff his *** that ingested all junk
And when you die they still lie of how good you are while you mishandled women while you looked down on innocent men needing your love they lie of how pure you are while all the ears know what a *** you were.
Look at me speaking as if I was born in the 80’s while am only 18 speaking as a priest while am not different in any way speaking of life while I have a dead heart in me speaking like a married man yet still looking for my first love but still I have nothing to ask for forgiveness for my pen ain’t faulty


RUSSELL

It’s nighttime again,
I can see the million stars far away ,
They remind me of someone,
Or should I say of some lost soul,
Just as the stars are beautiful is that soul,
And yet as far from me is that soul,


It’s morning again,
I feel the warmth of the sun,
Yet also it reminds me of a not a lost soul-
But of a pearl -
How it shines,how precious it is,
Yet how rare it is—


It’s noon again,
I can see my short shadow,
It makes me laugh out—
But it also reminds me not of a pearl ,
But of life-
How funny it is,
Yet it too short—

It’s evening again,
I can see the sun setting,
I enjoy how it looks -
Red as blood no———
Red as embers of fire,
It also reminds me of not life,
But of humans,
How hot they are
Yet they burn you to the ground—


I guess I’ll have to travel again,
So as to see the seasons-
How they crush into each other,
So that they could remind me of anything,
Because I believe—
I believe the light is coming—
Coming to return everything—
Everything that the dark stole

RUSSELL

I feel like I should write today,
But I lack my confidence ,not that I’m shy,
But because you never believe in me,
Never even gave me a pen or a paper,
Never gave me a chance to pour my feelings,saying that poets are weak,

And I will write,
Of how sad it is to live as a poet,
Of how it is hard for a poet to express himself through his tongue,
Of how it is hard for a poet to relate with others through his mouth,
Of how a poet has to suffer in silence just because of his courage,
Of how a poet lacks the love of a spouse because no one loves to read,


Or maybe I should write
Of how HUMANS despise poets, saying that they are weak,
Of how HUMANS hate poets,saying that poets only see the dark side,
Of how HUMANS pessimistically criticize poets ,saying that poets lack emotion
Of how HUMANS dump poets,saying that poets carry bad omen
Of how HUMANS misuse poets,saying the world is for the strong


Or maybe I should write about me,
Of how being a poet can make you feel as an OUTCAST,
Of how being a poet can make you lack friends because you are a lone walker,
Of how being a poet can push you to die with loneliness inside,


Or maybe I should have never written

~RUSSELL~

You feel it,
I feel it too,the sun is fading away,
The rains come down but never hit our foreheads,
The wind is the only one left ,but it’s more stronger than it was,
The learned say that the earth is moving more slowly,
The righteous say that the end is coming,
The old say that their time is coming,
But what about us? There is always tomorrow,more drinks,more fun,more blasphemy,
Those in their own worlds plan to build a new world on mars,
Those with power pass bills legalizing the illegal,
But here we are following them like loyal dogs,
Letting men be gay like bonobo monkeys,and still see themselves normal
I wasn’t speak of the women but it doesn’t mean they are right
They bleach to look like these people yet the babies tell it all
Children doing what the aged even can’t yet they say times do change ,
What about the blacks ?still trying to cling like an ant in a fast-flowing water to their principals but for how long,
Will I marry a woman or will I choose a man,
Will I be faithful or will I look for the virus,
Will I pray or will I go astray,
Will I work or will I worship to get money,
Will I .........………
Questions about what I will do,
I’m here for the true AFRICAN MAN
I’m here for the true AFRICAN WOMEN
AM HERE FOR AFRICA
We fight for our principal
That’s why am looking for a woman to love me without any western influences on money,
I’m here for an African job, principal for the western culture has failed to hide their vices

Death come my way,
Show me how you choose your next victim
Or should I say visit ,
for you do it over and over,
Show me how you view life ,
As a friend or as an enemy,
Show me how you view this world,
Do you envy lovers,
Do you envy the successful,
Or is it space you create for others to grow,
Tell me why people fear you,
Tell me why you never warn,

Or maybe I should say why do you disturb most of the people I meet
Why do you have to disturb their minds,
Why knock at a young age,
Why look for fame,
While everyone knows how powerful you are,
Why take the beautiful while you can’t marry them,
Why take the productive while you can’t make them work,
Why take the loyal while you can’t make them loyal,

Why give them suicidal thoughts while you know we need them,
Why give them stressful mind while you we need them make us happy ,
Why give them evil thoughts while you know even no credit comes to you

Or I’m I asking the wrong person,
Or I’m I asking the wrong question,
Or I’m I asking for the wrong people,
Please leave my people alone,
Let them love me,
Let them be loyal to me,
Let them put their energy on me,
Let them think of a future with me,
Let them go
OR I’LL COME FOR YOU FOR YOU KNOW WHO I SERVE ........

Like a shinigami I’ll fall in love

My memories are jolted by you,
They come back in the form of someone else,
I know the feelings are weird but I can’t stop

I want to be Alpha in the werewolf pack

I can’t believe that I’m still strong,
Strong to pick the pen again and write-
And write of how my heart aches,how it bleeds day and night minute by minute
When am supposed to move on ,move on without you in vicinity of my life but next to me in my dreams
Of how I let my cravings for love get the  better of me,saw you as my sun and my moon
Thought that all your eyes were on me watching out so that the devil might not even ****** me from you yet like an eagle with Prying eyes you were ready to move to the next host
Never forgot how you promised me of a bright future of a brilliant life full of memories
Never forgot of your cuddling with mischief in your cute eyes yet you looked innocent
Never forgot of the days when I gave up my mind planning of a future that never existed
I heard that you’ll be marrying in the church
Please don’t forget to repent of how you abused my soul with memories like a castle of feathers in front of a wind
Please don’t forget to pray for my dead soul for the pain has grown into a monster you can’t control and dwells feeding on thoughts of how to get back at you,
Please don’t forget to ask the priest to bless your soul because I’ll be haunting you to unleash my wrath on you,
And when the priest asks if anyone is against the union you better be for I’ll be watching ready to unleash the monster that you laid in my heart and bring you down to the ground at the alter ,

Done with fake friends
Acting as if the game care
They put us in lifelong dreams
Yet they dumb us when exhausted
Pushing us into dungeons to silence us
I’m done with being used-
Like I’m used to being used
Life has its way I guess I’ll die before I get a friend for me
A friend to hold onto my stupid self

Now that I’m finally in your arms there things I always wanted to say but I was scared

I love HER
like my spine she supports my day
She is cool but hot tempered
She doesn’t care about life full of her spirit
The ego in her pushes her through all the pain
She’s never sad ,smiling to every soul
She has the world on her feet as she stands  ,
Her sight makes even the devil stop tormenting lost souls,
She’s stronger even than the devil quicker than lightening sleeker than an eel,
Soft like sleek sounds like an angel,
Cooler than icebergs shining like stars ,
Ooh she has this character that **** my manners ,
And also she has everything on her hands she raises dead hopes ,
I’ve never seen her cry but I guess she’s got eyes like marble maybe when she cries they sparkle ,
She has this sweet face but a heart of a lion,
I’m now a puppet for her I’d **** ,
Maybe she’s ahead of her time,she should prolly wait,
She’s Salem’s finest she has bewitched me,
In the midst of all this she got a cold heart,
Does she love?
Does she see me?
I know I said I only needed my mama and my mental health but she broke it all,
I crave for a cuddle,like a baby sleep in her arms,
Who’s her crush?
Who’s her crew?
What does she like?
Do I look good to her or Thanos phenomenon blinds her?
What has she been through?
Is it luck or just one of my tempters?
She has assassinated my heart ,
I can’t love a wrong person but if it’s her take me in ,
But I ain’t lucky so it’s just a dream and long it will pass but I long for a chance
May the world say yes and my heart win her soul
BUT DOES SHE LOVE???

She doesn’t love she is just happy
Only fools fall but to her even giants have no chance
Ever felt that anything was possible under the ******’ sun yet you know tis’just a silly dream like you didn’t acknowledge the cloud’s presence
Like a demon I fear angels wish I could have learnt this before I persuaded heaven gates to open
She doesn’t hate she is just a **** that blinds me like the ***** has powers
She doesn’t keep her faith she is just there to be carried like a coconut on the salty sea going with the breeze
****** up even before my dawn like I worshiped the moon and didn’t swear pledges with the sun
Aimed at the star for ignition yet I am just a coal
Like a poor man I forgot that I was a bustard aimed higher than I could scale
My saliva now chokes me down to my true self
Thought I was moving on yet I didn’t know the ******’ direction
Directed my own film yet irrationally didn’t man up to watch my **** in the theater