Last Sunday, I invented a new color palette, while attempting to         recreate that shade of freedom your eyes have, when you love fully                 and without restraint.
            Oddly enough, I have noticed,
                    That when your smile awakens me in the morning,
                            It Takes care to do it slowly,
        For I might die, incredulous, of my good fortune.
                        And every night, without fail,
I fall victim, to the dangerous, stalking fragrance of your love.
Which devours me whole.

Today I woke up with your name on my tongue
364 nights have passed assuring everyone "there's really nothing wrong"
364 mornings since you left, and outside theyre playing another christmas song
Since that day your name's been unspoken as if it didn't belong
And now almost a year after
I'm still a mess a broken down disaster...
A speeding train that to his demise, travels faster and faster
Trying to find lady death just so I could ask her:

Why was it you the one who had to leave?
Why did your soul she couldn't wait to retrieve.
Yet she remains quiet, she thinks I'm too naive
Or she knows how much you're missed, even the house had to grieve
The house? Yes the house dealt with it better than I did

When the not so silent tears threatened to fall from my face
When the nights beat my self inflicted drowsiness on their nightly race..
While, my music played as background noise, just in case
The house creaked and moaned in hopes of shushing my disgrace

Today I woke up with my tongue burning with your name..
Reminding me that your body gave up but not your flame.
Reminding me that even when you lose, its fine, its just a game..
And that lady luck, isn't a good for nothing *****, but an elegant dame..
Who should be courted, dined and tamed.

And I sit at the bar and order a beer
It's 12:01, its been exactly a year...
The winter is definitely colder without you here

I was on my way to the ground

Face first, pavement bound,

Felt like atlas with the sky on me,

Expectations made me try to flee

My shoulders buckled and my knees gave out

You had to chuckle while I had to shout,

"The world is unfair, I'm stuck on this maze".

Yet you remained completely unfazed.

You looked in my eyes and you told me the truth:

To be happy is to fight nail and tooth

What good is to wish, what good is to hope?

If nothing is done, except that bottle to cope?

Course snow hits my face enough to muddy my brain.

more lies just in case, they suspect you're insane.

There is no one to blame except the one with the pen

You were never alone I was your friend...

And As long as you promise my heart to mend.

I'll promise you:

If you carry the sky then I'll carry you"

the weight dropped to the floor,

The sky was falling, and I care no more.

For As long as you're right next to me,

I will forever be...

Free.

The light in your eyes grows dim every day...

*** you got to stop and listen to what they have to say

As if,

their opinion mattered....

As if,

your hopes were shattered

As if,

Your dreams have scattered...

To a godforsaken place

And its the only way to save face...

And your life is burning up at an alarming rate.

You sit and blame it all to fate..

But

Can you see the fire before the ashes?

Please

You can't even see past your perfect eyelashes....

As if,

with make up on.... your dreams won't drown

As if,

The next line....will make it fine

As if,

One more puff...will be enough

To light you way

At least for one more day...

And

Made with total disrespect

those marks upon your neck,

Paint a gloomy image of your past.

And with the lies you were told

they helped to mold,

The women whose tears fall fast

As if,

You need him..to forgive your sins.

As if,

Your life is lost

'*** of the higher cost

Of living...

so you keep on the deceiving

The people who look out for you...

The people who strive to...

Make sure the light in your eyes

Stays bright not dim...

And all *** of him?

A sorry excuse of a ****?

**** that and him!

And now your lips touch bottle

After this shot it's on, Full throttle!

As if,

Its really fine... he's twenty-nine

As if,

Its ok that at sixteen... you're just a fiend

as if, you're far from home... and you're all grown....

But it

Shouldn't be that way....

You shouldn't have to dread another day...

And after all you've been through

Still these words won't reach you...

*** with your make up on

And the bottle gone

those marks upon your neck

make you feel you have respect....

And that's enough for you it seems

While I sit wondering why your light grows dim