I watch as the already exhaled smoke floats in front of me
Dancing decievingly
Convincing me it isn't leaving.
Unfortunately I've convinced myself the same
The smoke fades nearly unnoticed

See, I'm not a fool & I'm far too observant not to notice
Although not foolish, I foolishly believe the smoke will stay
And as the smoke drifts about I notice my own pattern...

I always convince myself that when its practically impossible, something or someone will stay. Just like this cigarette,  this pattern is killing me. slowly
The smoke finally disappears into the crisp air
**This time I sigh in relief

We are all
just lifetimes
searching for
       infinities.
     And the broken
    parts or who
we were
      should never
          be excluded
   from the beauty
of what we
are.
     -Andrew Durst

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every breath I take feels like it's way too much
Since you're counting down from three
I trust that you'll stay with me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
I'd cut myself if I knew how to bleed
Just because I'm on morphine
doesn't mean my heart is as numb as me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every step I take feels like it's way too far
If you want to hold my hand
as I go then I'll understand

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying  
It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

Sing with me,
I've slept with bloodshot eyes
I've dreamt of a sunrise
that erases everything  
Oh, every thing

Move with me
You won't have to be alone
Wrap your hand around a microphone
And sing with me until the sun comes

Sleep with me
Talk to me about yourself all night
We'll grow tired as the dawn bites
And lay side by side,
with no where to hide

Too tired-
we can pretend to be dead
Too bad it's all in my head
It's all in your head
We'll never be dead

I'm in love with someone's daughter
living in the shards of a broken home
Cutting herself on two year-old letters
These are moments she can't fake;
reasons to feel alone
So used to abuse, her tears start to shake
I hold her close as her head starts to ache
"I love you too much,
so I can't let your heart break."
She said, "I know you love me,
but you've made a mistake."

I never meant for anyone to be my pulse.
I promise not to step on your feet
if you teach me how to waltz.

Monday morning vultures at your feet
Carelessly as you sleep
Sentimental weeping not without a blind headache
I imagine that you'd run away

I was carried to a burning landscape by the arms of trees
I dug my hands into the soil and pulled out the spine of the terrain
I love with the curiosity of acidic rain
And the fire that burns inside burns through the smother of pain

Floating onto too much too soon, to be without an impending doom,
and to shame my feelings to a newly familiar tune,
brings what was happiness
and transforms it into sitting alone in a dark room
muttering, "I was happy, I was carried into a heart by the arms of trees."

I have written three ******* books about you,
and all you ever gave me,
was a half finished song
and a broken heart.