If tomorrow is like today there will be no tomorrow

He's the only thing that makes me want to live.

Pain makes me want to shoot myself to end it

I hate wearing this ring and waking up without you.

A girl sits

     *in a cell

One that she's made

     for herself

Her eyes closed

     and she dreams

For a better tomorrow

       one where she leaves

With no looks back

       *and she is free

My smile is a camouflage
Too disguise my broken heart
It's only fair to keep my suffering heart hidden
It wouldn't be polite to make my loved ones suffer
By watching me suffer

This fist of a man
Who painted pictures
Of black and blue
On a woman
Is a *anker that crushes the heart

There's this poet who makes me smile
We are still sort of like strangers
I don't know his smile
Or the sound of his laugh
But I do know a simple hello in my inbox can brighten my day
It may not mean much to you
But I can't remember the last time I smiled
And my eyes smiled as well

That night
So long ago
I was so young
They were so old

Moon out
Stars out
Alcohol in hand
Quickly falling down our throats
Blunt in hand
Press softly against lips
Mist of only short happiness

That night
So long go
I was so young
They were so old

Moon out
Stars out
Per-pressure falling against me
I shake my head
Say no
Voices surround me
Say yes

That night
So long ago
I was so young
They were so old

Moon out
Stars out
Foot against gas petal
Hand on steering wheel
Giggling and laughing
then....
Darkness

That night
So long ago
I was so young
They were so old

Moon out
Stars out
The car is crashed
I'm being shoved out of the car
Fingers pointing
Telling me to run
My hands shake
I shed tears
Everyone in the car is alright

but what about outside the car?

Everything's black
Then it's morning
I'm still a 12 year old girl
Who looks ALOT older
Trying to be cool
Hangout with the college kids
**** it!
We all know I'm a ***** up.

JD I love you.
***** to say you were the strong one.
The one taking the blame for someone else's doing.
We all know I'm a **** up.
Don't lie and cover it up.
I'm 17 now.
It's about time I take responsibility for my actions.
*but not this one... Not yet... Maybe not ever

Our behavior
Is like a
Mirror

It's the reflection
Of who we
**truly are

I have been bitten
Bitten by love
Not just any love
Skinny love
Love that is fragile
Love that is easily broken
Love that does not last
Love that leaves pain
Why couldn't it of been thick love?
Love that isn't fragile
Love that does not break easily
Love that is everlasting
Love that doesn't leave, but stays and gives joy

Let's not think about our days of noise and shatter
lets all take a moment and just breath
breath in the future
exahle the past
and seek
seek a dream
and seek a great perhaps

She married for small prices of paper
Paper the color of green with numbers in the corners.

She did not marry for the way he laughed
Not because of how he helped others
Not because of the way he gazed into her eyes
Not because of how hard of a worker he was
Not because of how wonderful he was with kids
Not because of the way he warmed peoples hearts
Not even for the way he loved her

She married for small pieces of paper
Paper the color of green with numbers in the corners
But what about love?

In history
When a city was destroyed
They would pour salt on the earth
To purify it

I am destroyed
Have been for along time
It's a shame
A shame that salt can't

Can't purify me..

Our lives are stories
Their hundreds of pages painted with words
Their simply books filled with a millennia of chapters

Chapters...
That word almost sounds foreign to me
Well at least I want it too

People tell me my story has just begun
But I want it to be the end
They say it's only the first chapter
If that's the case I want it to be the only chapter
And I want this chapter to shorten
It's simply too long

In this world
There is people of good and evil
We make our own choices
We choose what will become of us
We make choices for ourselves
Not realizing our choices
No matter if they are of good or bad reflect
Not only on us
But on also the ones which surround us

When people leave
When you're only a memory
When your pill bottle is empty
When love is no longer an emotion
When you're tired of feeling alone
Only damaged people with ever understand you

I'm feeling so small
My heart beat is too slow
My head achs

Such a shame
I can't get away
From all that noise and shatter

Where have you been?
It's unfair
Not having you here I mean
I know you can fix me

I'm trying
Too deal with the pain
But the blade keeps piercing
Piercing into my skin

Is this what you call happiness?
Where have you been?
Where have you been?
That question running through my mind
I dont understand
I dont know whom I'm asking
This anonymous someone
Come just a little bit closer
Your exactly what I need

I can't deny
I'll die without this
But I promise
I'm trying to deal with the pain

Live life the way you want to
For there are monsters who will convince you otherwise
Remember you are fragile
And if you wait too long they'll break you

Don't forget
That
I love you

Don't forget
That
im the one
Who's been there for you

Don't forget
That
I'm the one
Who let you take my virginity

Don't forget
That
I want to spend
The rest of my life
With you

If you
Forgot
These things
It would be
necessary
To say that
I would explode
Into a million pieces
And those pieces
Would turn to
Ash

Do you remember
Those warm sunny days
When the sky was never grey
And our hearts were only love

Do you remember
Those chilly dark days
When the sky was painted black
And our moments shattered it with stars

Thinking back
On those days
I finally remember a day
I was actually
**happy

I'm enslaved within a dying fire
I can't feel the flames
But I can the hollowness under my skin
To admit I'm dying with it would be too hard
I can't cope with the fact it's breaking an already broken heart
So I'll go into a deep slumber and dream of a beating heart to save me

I'd like to be easily defined
Instead of streaming through people's minds
I'd hate to be thought of all the time
Instead I'd like to be forgotten
But not completely
At least to where I have friends
But not so many to where I'm surrounded
and given the attention from everyone
Large crowds scare me
I'm sure I'll stumble over my words
Or at least say something stupid
Then my face will turn all red
And my hands will get all sweaty
I'd prefer to have a couple of friends
One love
And a book

Sadness is a virus that attacks the human being within

When you try to be sweet and kiss me ever so slowly

Friable- because I was easily broken into many pieces

Insecure- because I'm ashamed of myself

Nepenthe- because I need it to make me forget all my grief and suffering

E**rlebnisse- because I was forced to live through terrible experiences

I am sad
Sad to breath
Sad to have no one
Sad to be lost
Sad to be forgotten
Sad to have anger
Sad to be hurt

I am happy
Happy to live
Happy to have God
Happy to be free
Happy to wonder
Happy to not drink or smoke
Happy to be loved

I am almost free of my tragedy

I've learned that God will take if you don't appreciate.

Happiness is only temporary
It ends and leaves you damaged
It builds up and then it disappears

All emotions are good for is pain
It's like a disease that slowly attacks the heart
Eating it until it's gone and all you have left is an empty soul

I'm broken
And I blame happiness
It's the true monster that destroys our beings

I am an addict
And I wish
It was to something
Simple
Like drugs
Or alcohol
But
Unfortunately
It is to my
Sadness
And that
Has no
Cure

Hating life
so simple
Everybody's doing
everyday...
Instead of being grateful
For majestic things in life

Life...

It's difficult
Being happy I mean
Such evil
scattered like broken glass
All through land and sea
Of an majestic life
Majestic life only bringing tear drops and blood stains

Life

Difficulties
Of open eyes
To four black walls

Life

Sipping alcohol
Smoking ****
Blood drenched skin
Eyes drowned in tears
Skin color of black and blue
**I'm most definitely positive that I'm doing this whole teenager thing wrong.