Renan Racy: Favorites

Jun 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

he said
you are so gorgeous in the way
you write yourself on paper,
i've never met anyone
to paint with words.
he said
the birds sing your praises
in the early morning sun,
the dew still heavy on blades of grass.
he said
i have never seen such beauty
grace my irises of green,
never known the word perfect
until i told him my name.
he said
you
        are
                my
                        universe.

#fell #love #him #beautiful

Jun 2018 Renan Racy

(i write.)

Jun 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

(i write.)

with a heavy heart,
i write.
i write to save my life,
to make myself feel something
when the rain pounding my window
gets too monotonous.
i write to confirm my faith
in words,
that even when everyone else fails me,
they will be waiting
(to be bled)
on my notebook's pages.
they don't judge me.
i write when
i am in love,
when i need an outlet to expel color,
when i need a list of metaphors
(to compare to his eyes).
my pen is the only one who knows
why i press so hard
(when i write your name).
i write because i'm broken,
because even the closest to me
don't know
what the hell is going on beneath the surface.
i'm sorry for isolating myself but
you couldn't help me anyways.
i write to remind myself
of the beating of my own heart,
the tears in my eyes, half-moons
in my palms.
(i write to remind myself
that i am alive.)

experimenting with different punctuation, lmk what y'all think :)

May 2018 Renan Racy

thoughts (pt. 2)

May 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

thoughts (pt. 2)

not only is the farm abandoned
but all the sheep are dead.
the sugarplums dance on their graves
instead of twirling in my head.
smiles are nonexistent
nobody has a clue
of the million tons of *******
others may be going through.
my brain is being clouded
by all your negative words;
i’ve stopped saying hello to him
despite how much it hurts.
if he is the train
then i am strapped to the tracks,
begging myself to push forward
and never look back.
but my heart gives in,
it’s an endless cycle
of each time promising myself
i won’t reconcile.
but one look at his eyes
or golden curly hair,
and i’ve already started writing him
words beyond compare.
so if he is the farmer
then i am the sheep,
abandoned and killed
for my lack of sleep.

sort of a sequel to “thoughts.” just more random things i think about

May 2018 Renan Racy

That one night...

May 2018 Renan Racy

Noone

That one night...

I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......

May 2018 Renan Racy

it's called "life"

May 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

it's called "life"

i'm tired of it.
tired of never-ending rainstorms
and oceans promising hydration
when all i get is salt rubbing against my organs
like sandpaper.
tired of lightning striking twice
and landing me in the same situation i'm always in.
tired of preaching about self love and then always hating myself
no matter what,
for going back to the same people,
going back to the same bad habits,
never truly healing.
tired of stressing about stress so much that
my eye starts twitching and
all i want to do is sleep.
tired of having no motivation,
no interests,
sometimes walking through the day in a haze
while other times i can't stop the waterfall of tears.
tired of believing people when they say it'll get better,
believing people when they say they'll be there.
save it for someone else,
i couldn't believe it even if you
meant it anyways.

#feeling #sad #empty #exhausted

May 2018 Renan Racy

she’s that girl

May 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

she’s that girl

she’s the girl that made you believe in love.
with that infection laugh and
rough-around-the-edges persona,
she made you fall.
oh darling,
she made you fall fast.
she’s the girl that’s beautiful but
will never believe it,
doesn’t see it,
even though it’s pointed out to her all the time.
this girl is bright and oh god does she shine.
even on her dull days,
when the rain won’t stop pouring and
she can’t breathe,
she manages to smile.
she can fool you all.
she’s the girl that keeps them all at bay,
wondering
if she’s making a mistake.
princes flock to her like cattle,
desperate to have their hearts broken
by the girl who’s smile shines brighter
than the whole entire galaxy.

#she #girl #him #smile #galaxy #fall #fast #love

Apr 2018 Renan Racy

it’s not a party without you

Apr 2018 Renan Racy

alexa

it’s not a party without you

music’s blasting,
people laughing,
but i feel all alone.
people leer and
you’re not here;
i’m staring at my phone.
“have fun!” they said,
“my friends are dead” says
one particular rapper.
but your absence hurts
from here it gets worse-
i know it shouldn’t matter.
it’s been a week
bad thoughts have leaked
into my own brain.
cause missing you
is like hitting undo
on all the progress i’ve made.
i thought i was through but
now i’m blue
not unlike the color of your eyes.
i’m over mistakes
i’m allowing myself to take
all your empty promises and lies.
so here we are,
i thought i’d gotten far
but it seems we’ve been here before.
i’m tired of being friends
this ******* can end,
boy, i’m ready for more.

kind of a random jumble of thoughts all about the same person

#you #me #him #blueeyes #friends #missingyou #party