i’ve never felt l so cruel in my life
i know it’s not fully my fault
for that person to leave..
she was nice and good but my parents didn’t like her
and i nagged a-bit about her with my parents too and now i regret it
i complained about the unnecessary things but that’s wrong cause no one can be perfect to anyone
yesterday she came crying to me cause mom scram at her
it’s not fair
not at all
she came crying telling me how its her life and her children’s life that she’s working for
and she’s been respecting the house and the members as hard as she could
and she said how she doesn’t know what she did wrong
imagine not knowing what you did and even if you didn’t do anything wrong.. people still blame you
and then she left.. was obliged too
she liked this house
unlike others
and a smile has been shown on her face
after years of not feeling that happiness
she left
and now i blame myself
for not standing up for her
not helping her
she needed it
and now she’s left off thinking
why no one liked me
why am i left
just like all other times
and not knowing why

as i was witnessing today
the beautiful skies
what i saw
and only saw
was my future

i fear of it
i always do
for it scares me
till i might lose

not knowing where i’ll end
not knowing the days ahead

i fear still
for the days to come

depression
is a mood
and not a destination

it comes and goes
it’s not permanent
it’s just here
for a moment

so don’t fear
what is about to come next
but be ready
for what will be on next

i was shot
dead

now a hole has formed into my heart
the heart that’s never been auburn
that’s never felt so alive
but always been dead

the universe is too ignorant
the universe doesn’t know who you are
no one does
it’s just you
all alone
in the darkness

but as you drown
deep down in the oceans
and scream
still;
silence is louder

you’re left down there
not able to breathe
not able to speak
and suddenly,
death reaches you

that’s when
the universe
becomes aware of the unknown
of the gone
of the dead