The moon shines a cool blue tonight
as we entwine our fingers, laying on the baseball field
beneath diamond heavens. We lie
in silence, in the moments when the Universe reveals
itself, and contemplate the distances between one celestial body to
another, the space between
us growing as I turn south
to find Orion while you seek Cassiopeia in the north.

Shooting stars cross the sky, and we wish separately on dead
stars and dead dreams, lights already grown red and extinguished
as we whisper in the dark, passing
between phases.

And in the end we're all left searching.

The kisses from your lips
For they are the wine
That have left me intoxicated

She kissed that barrel of a gun harder than she's ever kissed me.

When you talk to people,
Look them in the eyes.

You don't know how many galaxies lie in those things

The day I get the courage to finally set myself free,

my body will lay under the earth, cold yet peacefully.

People will go about their lives, as it should be,

and continue to do what they do best, walk all over me.

I wasn't worthy of any mans attention
yet he saw the beauty in me
we would lay in the tall grass
silent but the breeze
the sun warming our naked bodies
all of this comes with ease

bare foot in the back fields
of the barn we called home
paints, brushes, canvases
into the woods, the stream, the orchard
we would roam
and paint the beauty we saw
in the nature
in each other
naked and raw
so young
only seventeen
no limitations
we were opened minded and adventurous
we were free
we couldn't fathom how our souls had come to be
we would toss amongst the sheets by the fire
our bodies fit together so beautifully

time would slip by and to him
I was no longer magical
my red hair and pale skin
my average cooking and my eccentric ways
it all seemed too impractical
I was no longer good enough
no matter what I did
I was no longer what he wanted
I ran through that back fields and into the woods;
I hid

At only twenty years old
he had my soul
and with one last glare
one last stare
he returned it back
damaged, bruised and black
the end is inevitable
first love, so genuine and pure
forever I will be searching because
this aching soul craves a cure

My soul aches at the thought that
I may never
be looked at like I am beautiful

My ears ring at the notion that
I may never
be touched by reassuring warmth

My head throbs at the concept that
I most likely
will never get to share my secrets and dreams

My body shivers at the knowledge
of knowing that
I will never be kissed purely and deeply

My eyes swell with the tears that are aware
of the inevitability that
I am utterly invisible

I am exhausted from meaning nothing to everyone