I have given up,
On everything,
I never want to wake up,
And sleep in the evening,
I haven't cleaned up,
My room for months,
Pizza boxes, clothes, unwashed cups,
Cigarette butts and ashes on the floor,
I have no purpose,
I never feel like walking out the door,
I keep wishing a car would hit me,
I keep wishing if I could just drown,
But I never have the courage to go down,
How pathetic,
I know no one will miss me,
Nobody knows me,
I just want to hurt that one person,
To show how much it meant to me,
To satisfy my ego,
I'd give up my life,
Just for the person to realise,
Their mistakes,
To feel my pain.

As a child,
I would carry something,
It was always on my mind,
It could have been anything,
A rock, a pebble and plastic find,
And I would keep it on me at all time,
I never had any friend,
And that weird thing,
Was mine,
I was hold it in my hand,
Talk to it,
Feel it all over,
And I could trust it,
For months I would carry it,
Till I accidentally lose it,
Or my parents throw it,
Relying and trusting a useless object,
Is much better than trusting someone,
The object will never hurt you,
But someone will,
Now since I don't have anyone,
I carry around a necklace,
I bought it for someone dear to me,
Close to my heart,
A necklace with an S,
But I will never get to the part,
To give that person,
And I just have given everything,
To this necklace,
And I rely on it,
It is a source of pain,
But I just can't seem to leave it.