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The sky,
a gazer,
And oft a weeper for the lands man,
The land is calling for me absurdly,
To be loved and exploited no more,
I must drench in this blood spilled earth,
Encharging me to reclaim it as my purpose,
The sky,a gazer,
And oft a weeper for the lands man,
The world has never felt so woven,
And melancholy slipped itself back in this sinners hand,
Alas,
My world has never felt so scattered ,
I felt so shallow and all felt so bland,
Though in these marshes I find,
An escape for a life time,
The path unfollowed follows my mind,
The path unfollowed mocks me blind,
And entrenches deeply in my wound,
Now in the path of the wild I must swoon,
To reclaim my sight,
To dream of nature is to dream of youth,
Although the flowers and their wilting ways have me doubt my days,
She is held so high,
And her wilting has me escape a sigh,
She awaits as if betrayed,
From the remedy that the nature has made.
I think I love nature truly
Grant me freedom
over wisdom
it's that which
knows no age-term
This turning year  
a child of war so newly born,
could we give it a day
to dream its infant dreams,
the simple gift of a little peace
apparently not, or so it seems
I beg and churn and oft dream,
I crave and long from all in my being,
All that is scattered all that is seen,
All that is bound to decay,
All to stumble back in your way,
Frivolous being am I to sight,
Everything I am doesn't fit right,
18 years to build this mould,
That replicates what is foretold,
A venture in this soul,
Had me realise it is dead,has no goal,
  Jan 2 Maimoona Tahir
Zelda
⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️

I’m not suicidal,
I fear death.

I think about dying—
it's always a vivid, beautiful, sunny day.

I just want to bleed, cuts under the skin.
I just want to starve, protruding bones.
I just want to disappear, non-existent.

I’m trying to get my affairs in order,
to tend to my responsibilities,
to care for my loved ones
just in case.

I’m not suicidal,
at least, I don’t think I am.

I fear death.
Jan 1 2025
*Trigger warning ⚠️*
  Jan 2 Maimoona Tahir
Liana
Ugh
Flash cards
Headaches
Studying for hours
Trying so hard
Just to be heard

Trying to make friends
Trying to be social
So difficult when your not normal
The things you have to tell yourself
To keep yourself together
"It's okay
Your okay
Everything's okay"
All lies

Concerned looks from your mother
As you say that yes, today was the same
You can tell she's trying not to cry
Guilty

Procrastination
Lack of motivation
Working so hard for this presentation
And for everything else
Even when it all gets deleted in my head immediately after

The crowded hallways
You can barely squeeze your way through
They're so loud
And full of people
Most yelling
Some banging on lockers
Jammed
Like my head

Painted spirals on the wall
Not as real as mine
Random
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