Dear Self,

  Butterflies and a rushing heart beat
  you've only found in the presence of men
  now captivated by a feminine force,
  a gravitational pull toward:

  porcelain skin
  a starlet smile
  the faintest scent of essence
  hypnotist eyes that keep you still
  lips you've dreamed to kiss

  Internal struggle prevents you from acceptance.
  Just admit it.

Your closest friend,
                                   Soul

---------------

Dear Soul,

  What else is there to say?

  I'm falling for her.

Love,
          Self

My house is a closet
And I spend my days peeking through the cracks
In the door.

Trying to get out
While you cling to the keys
And lock me inside.

A girl stood before me at the supermarket
a few random items littered her basket
pink socks poked out from her sneakers
they were covered with little creatures
an inch of flesh stood between
those ankle high socks and her jeans.

Nice socks I exclaimed!
she turned around inflamed
looked at me and said
I have a boyfriend
her face now red.

Are they his I asked?
her face broke into a laugh
sorry I got so defensive
guys make me apprehensive
I don't really have a boyfriend
sometimes I just like to pretend.

*I know how you feel I replied
in embarrassment I've often lied
and whenever I'm struck by beauty
of someone new I meet
I can't look directly at them
I look towards their feet.

The drums beat
People screaming
Adrenaline rushing
"Throw Me Somethin Mista!!"
Beads, cups, candy
Raining goodies
Float after float
Drink after drink
A city where the party never ends
Voodoo blues growing bluer
Every mile I drive further away
Still feeling the spirit of New Orleans
Burning in my chest
The swamp trying to flow through
Archaic veins always yearning
A new thrill
Yet here the thrill never ceases
Trumpets, trombone, tuba, snare
A succession of bands
Mask, costumes, cheers, beers
Voodoo blues tempting my return

I've tried a million times
Then tried again
Just to find enough hatred toward you
To find a way to force a goodbye
Yet these emotions
Are nothinng but ghost
Nailed to my mistakes
And I wish sorry fixed it
But even tears I force
Can't spell help me say goodbye
I've tried running
I've ran till my feet bled
Danced in tequila
Paraded through clouds of smoke
Hoping somewhere I'll forget you
I've only managed to forget myself
And the reason why I started trying
Trying to give up on you
It wasn't fear
It wasn't stupidity
I just knew I wasn't good enough
I wrote to you a million times
Never pressed send
Just exited out and locked the screen
I wish I could say goodbye
The way you said it to me
A merry *******
And a happy Go **** Yourself
But I deserved it
I gave up when you started to give in
We met at a crossroad at different times
I still love you
While I know you'll hate me
This is a farewell letter to you
You'll know its you when you read it
I made it clear enough
Seems you were too much of a mystery