Let me leave
The Horror of this world .
What fantasies create
The negativity around me.
My mind doesn’t stop
Stop stop stop
Thinking , spinning , twisting
I can’t control my thoughts
Can NOT Calm my mentality
Will I ever find peace ?

I’m so sad
Why was I cursed .
Why do things go wrong .
I don’t deserve any unfairness.
I’m good to people,
I’m respectful , kind , Caring .
I listen to everyone .
To everything & Help others.
I’m so sad.
Why was I cursed.
Why did Bad things happen .
To my innocent soul .
I did not deserve, Any of this .
I’m so sad.
As A Kid , To a teen & now as an adult I suffer from Feeling useless.
Why ? What’s made me feel like I have no worth. ?
A lot , A lot of reasons Just know.
My depression is not progressing
I’m in such distress.
No mood to right Nomore .
I repeat my problems in different words.
Il say it once more , my issues.
Last time il repeat what’s wrong with me  .. poetry is slowly fading
So listen closely . As I can fade too

He’ll meet Somebody.
Fresh start, new girl .
Their pasts will be hidden .
Which will make There relationship super great.
No fighting , No Insecurities .
Better body , nice **** .
Better *** , Experienced .
Most likely she’ll have his same interest.
But hey ? Why do I keep thinking of his new future when I leave him
I can meet the exact same
Some one who listens
Encourage,repecful , loyal
He’ll find better but il
Finally meet someone whom I can Act and feel everything I couldn’t with the ex .

I Want To Cuddle
Tickle , laugh , Goof Around.
Feel comfortable, Confident.
I want To Conversate
Joke, Story tell, Ideas
I want to Go Places
Travel, adventure , explore
I want to make memories
Take pictures, Create things
I want to smile
Feel wanted , apreciated ,cared for
I want to have or build a bond
Be comfortable, Accepted .
I want to be liked
Have common interests.
I want to feel Pretty
Called beautiful, admired .
I want to Enjoy my Young life .
Have no insecurities.
I want to speak freely , Say anything and act how ever.
I want Intimacy
Act. **** , dance exotic and be naughty for that somebody .
Lingerie , role play, Get Exciting.
I want to. Feel motivated
Appreciated, encouraged.
I want to Dress nice .
I want to feel so very positive
I don’t feel none of this .
I feel the opposite.
Sadly
Only frouns, lonliness , Tears is what I feel next to him x
I don’t want to feel like this no longer x
I’m getting ready .
To drop it all.
Exchange my “supposed to be supportive Bf”
To Focusing on myself instead.
I can’t go any longer with fighting
I’m so close to calling it quits.
Officially
I don’t feel bad Nomore
I leave ?
He’ll go. Back to his ******* & Parting .
It’s ok
Because I know I can do the exact same thing
Night clubs & Drinks

I’m accused of always
Being Grumpy & irratated.
Easily Offended & set off quick.
So much That I’m being disliked.
My mood Is Starting
To set them aside .,
I always argue
Start random petty Fights.
Im accused of Being lazy.
Not trying to do anything .
Of wanting to do nothing .
Everything Bothers me.

Im Overwhelmed
Of waking up to my same sadness
Seeing myself try for those around me to put me down or Hurt my feelings bad enough that I quit.

I’m not easily bothered.
It’s only with People i lived long whom I put up with a lot of their ****. For them To be confused Over my Rage towards something they see so simple but to me so big because I’ve dealt with that issue many times for them to never correct.

1015
Here I am.
Laying besides the same man.
How foolish of me.
How do I continue letting this slide.
We had ***.
Wasn’t makeup *** because I’m still feeling down.
He’s asleep , holding me.
I just feel so Upset.
I shouldn’t be giving in.
Falling for this b.s.
Our relationship is still *******
I’m still very upset .
Idk I want to let go !!
He’s asleep, while I’m here sitting feeling so ****** upset !!!!!!!
STILL ****** STILL
NOTHING GETS BETTER
MY TEARS JUST KEEP POURING AND POURING IL SOON DROWN IN THEM

I’m A mistake
I wish I wasn’t born
I wish my parents never met.
I wish upon a Star for my mom to have had a miscarriage.
I wish on a shooting star my mom Aborted me .
I don’t ever do nothing right.
All I’m good for is disappointing those who love me ..
I’m so unhappy in this world
Please god just take me.
Let me live in peace dead please

I’m sorry
I don’t have style.
I don’t have flow / rhythm .
Sorry that
I’m not intelligent.
I’m not independent.
I don’t have **** accomplished
Im not a graduate .
Sorry that
My life isn’t Attractive .
Isn’t pleasant .
I don’t have credit cards
I don’t own a car or drive .
I’m useless I get it .
Drugs & Failing at life
Is what I do bestest.
So sorry
I’m not good for anything
I don’t know much of life .
How to solve Situation
Where to go / call for assistance.
Sorry my life isn’t
Adventures
Interesting
Fun
Exciting
I’m just sorry I’m a ******* .
I’m sorry that you ended up with me.
I’m sorry for all those awesome opportunities you missed with other Females .
I’m sorry for ruining your life .

I know .
You get past  memories.
Of girls you talked to , were with & left you .
I know you wish to go back Intime to Change your behavior or words
To make it right and have had a life with your desired lover .
I know you hate yourself sometime because of things you did wrong or wish to have done that  interfered with your chances of the girl you most wanted

I’m sorry for inturupting.
Making you Ask me out because you felt sorry for me .
I’m sorry for ruining your life.
Getting in the way of yours and messed up opportunities you now wish you would have taken instead .
I’m sorry for coming into your life and making it horrible.
I’m sorry it’s my fault your not with the girl you died for .
I’m sorry for trashing your space
I’m sorry I exist . It’s me to blame
I’m sorry I got in the way
Sorry for not being the one you wanted to marry.
The one you looked at so hopeless in love .
Sorry I don’t make you look at me with eyes of true love like you looked At others.
It explains everything .
Why you hurt me plenty of times why you can’t be lovable
Etcetcdtc
Because your not that inlove with me like you were with others .
I know you wish you would have stayed with either of the ones you been with
I’m sorry I ruined your life with my pathetic hideous self
I’m sorry I don’t fit the description you told me.
I’m just sorry I don’t make you feel the way you felt when you’d get close to those girls your heart melted for

Devil devil
Where are you
I need you
Right now right here
**** what others think
Now I remember why I loved you deearly.
Please come & take me !
Please take over my mind & brain!
Erase my memories
Please make me lose my head!
I don’t want to continue on!
Please control me
I no longer want to feel
Devil please come for me
Save me dear
Drug me up
I no longer want see what’s real
Drugs drugs drugs
I ****** hate them !!!!!
I hate this ! I hate everything !
Drugs I don’t desire ,
They don’t make me feel happy.
Drugs I love , they release me !
Get me high , so I won’t deal with my broken heart so I won’t give a **** about not being good enough
Please GOD
LET THE DEVIL DO ITS JOB
I WANT TO LOSE MY MIND
I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON AROUND ME
I’m not skinny I’m not pretty
Have *** nor ******
Nice hair or skin
Come take me
I hate feeling like this by his side
I can’t do this anymore god
I can’t.
I’m not good for him
I’m not what he wants
I don’t dress as he calls fresh
I don’t do anything that amazes him I’m the opposite of what he wants
I HATE MYSELF GOD PLEASE FORGIVE THE DEVIL BUT I NEED HIS COMFODT TO NOT FEEL TO NOT HATE SO HARX

Now I see
Now I finally noticed .
I don’t want to use
I cry for a stop
To be able to resist .
Now I See
Why I love dope ****.
Why I can’t let go of it .
I’m currently ****** damaged
I’m feeling so Worthless
I’m feeling so sad and hopeless
I’m angry , frustrated , helpless
PLEASE GOD TAKE MY LIFE
I’m feining for drugs!
I don’t want to feel like this !
I’m not good enough for anyone !
I hate myself I’m ****** done!
I’m too broken I’m shattered
I’m weak I can’t try nomore!
After every inch of miserable pain he’s made me feel .
Knowing everything’s his fault
I’m here laying down
Feeling like I’m not good enough
Remembering all the girls his been with and how I don’t ****** compare at all !
I’m ****** ugly & disgusting !
I feel so devastated.
He deserves better.
A beautiful girl
With a curvy goddess body
A goregeous girl
That match to all the ones he’s been with.
IM SO **** SAD!!
Forever Ill be insecure and doubt his loyalty !
I’m ****** ugly !!
Looking back Every girl he dated
He got unfortunate with me !
I ****** hate myself !!!  
God please!
Give me a syringe to end the pain
Please ****** numb me
Idc to go insane
I’m so helpless
I’m useless and stupid
I don’t have anything nice
Errors All over my body
Please take me god
I don’t want to live
I don’t feel beautiful
Everything about me is a fail
Look Those girls !
No wonder he’s still inlove !
No wonder he still reminisces on them !
I’m sure he hates himself for not being able to have made them his girlfriends!!
I can’t god I can’t I’m feeling to Worthless
I’m a *******
I’m pathetic
I don’t want to breath
I’m nothing compared to them
I hate myself so much for not looking desirable
For not being a model to his eyes
NO WONDER HES PLAYED ME
no wonder god
That’s why he’s attempted to cheat
Has conversated with others
**** look at me !
I’m far off from his expectations
I’m ****** useless

GOD PLEASE
Give me what I need
The lighter, the pipe the needle
GOD PLEASE
give me what I need
The razor, any blade, Sharp object
GOD ****** PLEASE
Give what I need !
An end to All this !!
Give me an overdose
A suicide , a ****** death

Don’t be shocked .
Be happy , I’m finally blooming .
It’s been hard .
To Escape your prison .
I’m hoping to walk free.
Start a new & better Life for me.
Don’t be angry please
You’ve played enough with
My sanity .
I gave you all I could .
Just like drugs
You ruined me too.
Just like ****
You Made me lose my few friends
Just like drugs
You made me stupid & confused
I gambled my life
For a fool.
Just like ****
I’m struggling to leave you too.
Just like drugs
You hurt and caused so much pain

I’ve. Been sober
I don’t know how much longer .
I know I hate this .
Temptation just changes my head
I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to be a quitter
I just don’t know
These thoughts are making me weaker .
Depression, insecurities, regret

I got it right bae
Might die tonight babe.
How lit? Super high.
Don’t want to feel like I’ve been.
I hate this drug
One Take & il Numb my disgust
I Forget how I’m struggling
Il Forget im An Addict
Just get me on ,
I want to Forget long

Listen Closely.
You will lose her .
Listen closely
Drug abuse will change her.
The Girl You Will Do it all For
Will slip Away .
The substance will Take ahold
Of her mind & Brain.
Twist all Thoughts & feelings .
Listen Darling
Dope will eat all her hope .
What she cares for ?
Will no longer matter .
All important will be forgotten.
All her thoughts will center.
To get High & Stay lit .
Stuck on getting more.
You will lose her.
Her views will see evil  .
All against her.
Without noticing, she’ll convert.
She won’t realize how much she’s taking .
The tolerance & money doubling .
She won’t see it’s gettig out of control .
She won’t see anything wrong with how frequent she’s used.
She’ll lose , her Control
You’ll lose , your baby doll

It’s taking way to long
To find my ground .
I’m leaving right now.
You’ll never see me round .
You know where I’m coming from
Where I’m going , you know I’m
Going down .
The people around me are going down too.
We on a dark road.
She gave it up , she d

Baby , love me long
I’m weak , be strong for me.
Don’t leave me ...
Hate me , Blame me, guilt me
Please just sit quiet
Bring me Close
Hold me tight
Squeeze me long
Kiss me love .
Be here , Stay here .
Don’t leave now
Don’t go away
Don’t feed on to the negativity I create . Stay away from my anger.
Please stay , at least for now

It’s coming from me.
The tears are falling to be freed
My frown is dropping tragically.
I’m reaching out for safety .
This can not continue .
I’m searching for comfort.
I’m hoping I’m rescued .
I’m digging deeper
To hide , from his creepers
Who keep coming to Drag me
Back into there dark Allies.
I’m hiding . I’m ducking
I’ve sunken before
I no longer want that road
It’s a fairy tale
All appears Greater
Without it , it’s truly a night mare
I’m sprinting , I’m jumping
All sorts of barriers
To not fall & trip
I’m helpless but now hopeful
Il surrender,
I don’t want this dope Nomore

Can you please
Allow me to enjoy 1 Day.
Happy & inlove
With the man I love most
Let me experience happiness
No problems or worries
Just lost With his love
To feel romance & just feel him
Enjoy eachother at peace
Please just 1 magical day
Where I don’t struggle with drugs
Or know the truth of his betrayal

I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recovery
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .

I’m not
I am NOT
Depressed, bi polar, Miserable
I’m not
I am NOT
An addict, impaired, hopeless
I’m normal
I don’t have issues
What I go through I can solve .
It’s not an issue , no problem.
I got this , talked about it for long
I know how to fix me.
I’m ok, like everyone.
I’m positive, I’m happy .
I don’t stuggle from nothing .
Life’s great , all good .
Please get out my way
I’m ok

To be sincere,
I messed up.
More than once
& more than multiple times.
I played you dumb .
As I lied , betrayed you sufficiently.  
My bad that I never apologized.
To be honest
I never felt bad .
To go out & Have fun.
To be sincere,
I wasn’t ever sorry .
I didn’t feel no shame or guilt .
I continued to the function.
Long nights & heavy drinking .
I wanted you , & others too.
Didn’t want to be fair .
I enjoy the Games
Looking , talking
Being attracted to other girls.
To be sincere,
Your Alright but not all that ..
My type is far beyond.
You are far below
Dont understand why I settled
To what I wasn’t so sure..
friendly & kind.
Not Curvy & Fine ...
Still don’t understand
How I let this pass my hands ..
With all truth .
I’m sorry , I didn’t truly want you .
Just wanted to pipe you.
Have someone to **** with
Play when I wanted .
Never to marry ..

Living in doubt.
Don’t want to think “is she”.
Speculating, always Watchful .
If I leave , the fault is dependency .
Sorry baby .
Too much for me .
Been Loving long with “is she”
Can’t continue, it’s stressing me .
Mind dashing , heads pounding .
Much of my time
Is investing on nothing .
Gave you my hand
You bit off everything..
Deceiving , You lied.
Multiple times , ongoing sighs.
I love you but I can’t Nomore .
Too much for me .
Can’t live my days like these
Sorry dear, sincerely Babe

I keep looking down
Stopping right now.
Change is needed
Complaining , whining ? remembering , Hating ?
Emotions are mixing
Help is not wanted .
I got this , I’ve gone through this .
Hearts feels a bit disbelief....
Am I convincing ?
Telling truths or lies to my mind ?
Should anyone believe me ..
Am I back biting ..
I see but being deceit.
Why do I understand, repeat
Though never utilize
my own Speech .
Forgiven , forsaken

The dope,
Does not replace You.
The smoke
Does not vanish You off too.
When high
You Are Not forgotten..
You Do not Leave my memory.
When on this drug
You are not erased.
You remain at the very center.
Sober , high ?
You never leave my Brain .
  
Always remember I’m not ok.
When high . I’m not feeling great.
I’m not safe , I’m not ******* happy
NEVER THINK IM LOVING THIS
I’m numb & so ******* miserable
I’m on , but Not Feeling Good.
I’m an addict, I no longer get those
Bomb feelings In my body .
IM. NOT OK IM NEVER FINE

Best of Living.
Cuddling yourself in Warmth.
Feeling relaxed & Cozy .
Stress Wears off , nothing to worry.
You don’t need strength, nothing .
Best of times
Warmed and Comfy
Fluffed pillows surrounding me.
My eyes shuttering .
Thinking of you , to vision you .
Sweetest dreams ..
night & Sleep , best of living

Losing hope.
What’s my life worth living for ?
I’m tired of trying to cope .
My life’s ****** both ways I turn.
**** it if he leaves he goes.
Won’t change nothing .
I’ve suffered with & without him.
I got not one thing going good .
I’m feeling more worthless As the clock moves.
I don’t mind being alone .
Ive been lonely many days before.
He’ll move on , Great for him.
Ill remain walking long.
That’s all I’ve ever done,
Take many steps to meet success.
I’ve always failed that test .
Losing hope
I’m Accepting That im no Use.
Il be broken forever if I leave him.
Though I’m always
breaking with him ..
What must I do , What’s best
Not for us , for me.
I’m suffering

I promise il be ok.
Alittle Out my mind
Il find my way .
Running long , But Il escape.
Smiles & Laughs is what I crave.
Sweet touch to your lips
Tell me baby , il obey .
Show me How to find your switch.
What you like , what feels right .
How to move to set your grove .
I want only You, Between my thighs Grasping me Tight ..
Some day one day
Il find my way , Hoping soon .

Ive hurt
Every time I lied.
I’ve beat myself over
For denying what was true
I care deeply for you
Though you see lies
I don’t make you a fool
I don’t intend to
I hate the nights
Where I have been wide awake
Were you asleep think
I’m dreaming too
It’s hurts me so much
That I can’t be true , I can’t resist
i breaks me down that I
Relapsed ,
Wanting not to do but
addiction manipulatesr Too
I hate that as I lay you
You must imagine I’m having a good time .
When I’m High
You imagine that I’m enjoing
Not knowing all I think is how
much more this ***** tearing me apart.
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .
BABY IT HURTS ME
I’m continuously Struggling
To Get over everything
Be able to resist.
ITS HURTING ME
Baby I’m thinking , I’m breaking
I’m tearing.