Creation is
Another level of consciousness
All I don’t understand
Makes sense when I create

Emotions awoke upon
Reading a poem
Seeing a painting
Hearing a song

I give nothingness
A shape
The unknown gets
A personality

Faith, please help me to believe
That I have good reason to live
That nothing is coincidence
Give me enough confidence

Truth, I pray to you with tears
Be my goddess, sweet release
Guide me through the waves of life
Don’t let me give up hope in life

Being high
Gives me
A completely different perspective
Of self-observation

Tree front of me too high
Reaching to the sky
Give me a ladder to climb
Can't do it, this road’s not mine

Your expectations and me, they're never gonna meet
I don't have a strong enough feet
To stand on this surface
I am no longer at your service

Just to adjust to your creation
Won't give up my imagination
Take a picture of me in your mind
I'm gonna disappear now, so never mind

I'll leave a note saying
Bury me while crying
For the sins you committed
I am no more committed

This uptight masquarade
will cause my own escape
Shade is my vision
There is no conclusion

How did you think it's gonna end?
You said you want to be my friend
I have no more to say I guess…
Go **** yourself in the ***

Just
Little you
And little me
Would fill up all the big space
In the world

reflected on trees
my shadow is a giant
waving on the bark

The harsh truth came when I saw someone die for the first time 
I couldn’t understand and since I haven’t drunk any wine 
I grew up suddenly way too fast 
I tried to take it as life’s big test 
But I broke and fell apart 

I’m 26 but I’m living life like I’m 80
I learned really soon there is no such things as tooth fairy 
I struggle with keeping myself alive 
I fight with the burden of all the false lies 
That they tell us when we’re young 

I thought it’s all in my head, this void that is nameless 
It sits in the back of my mind, just shapeless 
The real world is too small, mine is the biggest 
It covers everything, all is meaningless 

What is it I’m looking for 
Gold of rainbow at rainfall
What’s the purpose I can follow 
Why do I wake up tomorrow

Nocturnal animals
Live next to us
Ignoring our sleep
And well-being
Blue uniforms
Knock on door
Come night
Time for winding down
But my brain is alert
Afraid to fall asleep

I photograph myself
In the mirror 
I’m beautiful 
And I see no error 

For too long 
Had I believed 
That if I changed 
I’d be relieved 

But this is me
Naked, imperfect 
Wrinkles of life 
They are not signs of defect

Little girl wasted time 
By feeling so low 
For she was too blind 
To see this glorious glow

It’s hard to find solace 
In the bitter heart of a lone man
He’ll turn you to stone

I play this game from time to time
Giving you all that’s me and mine
Without any shame but an open mind
I am the one who is always kind

Now it’s different, I feel this time
I have no fear of falling down
My trust in you, and yours in me
Or is it just fake, but how could it be

And it happened again, you let me down
I was needed ‘til you got your crown
I got used to being used but I don’t worry
Another you will come around so easily

It could be done so differently
Only if you could see

I hate myself
But I love being alone 
I’m scared of the real me 
But like the silence of my home 

I feel lonely without you
But I need my own space and time 
I crave you when happy 
But I push you away when I’m down 

I don’t have a choice 
But to live with this weird me 
But you could leave, and
It would be so easy

Why do you ask
Why I cry

Like I need a reason
Every time

As if the world’s weight
Is not enough
On its own

Each tear is a scar
Which covers a wound

Whispers in a scattered household 
Cobwebs hiding tragic secrets 
Spiders eavesdrop, hear all the lies 
Don’t cry, calm down, all will be fine 

I can’t hear
The voice of my grief from the noise of the world
It lies underneath 
The needless advice of those who stayed here 

Blood was the last thing you coughed up 
Instead of words from your mouth, but 
I still did not believe that you just 
Left us when you fought so hard...

I saw myself on the ground 
Disassociated 
In disbelief I denied 
Empty and dead-hearted

I doodle pictures
On your arm
Will you ink them
On your heart

it’s only the flower fallen off
that makes sense
not the tasks of work
that lead nowhere

it’s only the eyes resting
on each other calmly
that makes sense
not the rush of a boring day
that act like important

it’s only the expression
by creating myself with art
that makes sense
not the forced knowledge
i can’t use
that’s told it is needed

it’s only the memory
of mom
appearing as real as her love was
that makes sense
not the fake sorries and words
that are said
when they don’t know better

Mesmerized by the wisdom lines
Of the prince whose name is Patience
On his face they draw a map
Leading to his secrets

Depth and endless calm sea
Are his eyes without him knowing
Lakes within the mountains of his lips
Rivers are his curls, tangled and untamed

Storms do thundercloud it
Wild beauty of nature, anger and madness
Sun’s rays turn it gold from brown
My ultimate adventure

Love is like
A bubble of laughter
A fort
Made of pillows
Surrounding me
Comfortably

Circle of stones in the water
You caused the ripples 
Will you anger the waves too 
While I am drowning  
Resuscitate me 
With air from the old lands

Blood was the last thing that came out of Your mouth instead of words
I shivered at the feet of my father, hoping that it’s no true, but it was too late.
I wasn’t conscious, I flew out of my body and saw myself from above, it wasn’t even me.
Only a panicking cramp and chaos in disbelief, faint fragment, unconscious and half dead.
You were my Goddess, Your death my biggest fear.
Thank You for my life.
I love You.

I melt you in my comfort

a pair of
mismatched socks
we wear each other
mixing colours

an item from a
second hand shop
more unique than  
the same new ones  

only we see the
rainbow on an old
black and white
television

i love
the darkness
in you
it’s the most real
thing about you

In my own hometown I feel lost
I ain’t no human, just a ghost
Years and years spent miles away
For some change I always pray

Don’t say goodbye
I’m not ready
I’m going crazy
Distance will **** me

Stranger to the place
I was born

wild flowers blooming
like there is no quarantine
while we’re in mind jail

Don’t stop me on the street
Two years after she’s gone
My goddess who birthed me
I don’t need your sympathy
Your questions don’t help me
When she’s just ashes in a ***
Her death isn’t your place
To prove your fake niceness
And pretend that you care when you don’t

rain is
drinking tea
in the company
of my wrinkled soul

i swim in the Sea
of Depression,
it’s Free...

i wallow in the Gorges
of Sadness,
it’s Gorgeous...

then,
Anxiety.
cramped, Aggressive,
shake Panicky.

i run in Circles
claw my face
can’t breathe
lose my Faith

...and sense of reality
as it IS.

I imagined the world is void
Empty with no one to avoid
No colours or smells
Fears or worries
Just vast nothingness
Or not even that

Why do I do things that I regret later on
Why do humans run into the their own traps
Day by day

I know I’m committing a sin
Then I just leave the scene
Feeling ashamed of myself

How do I look into the mirror
When I see it laughing at me: It was your fault!
I’m never gonna forgive
‘Cause I am now *****, guilty

He never cares
How would she feel
If only she knew
What he’s done to her and what I’ve done to her
It hurts like hell, I’m burning in hell