I wish you would raise me like the daughter you've always wanted
Don't lie to me
I wish instead of broadcasting my name without my permission
You would listen to me for once instead
and have patience
and have faith

I can't date you. Not now, not ever. I thought it was because I enjoy what I have right now but over the course of this past week I've come to a conclusion. Its because I can't find feelings for you. They were once there but you scared them away and I don't believe there is any going back to what we used to have. I'm sorry that maybe I got your hopes up or lead you on but you can get over it. Everyone eventually does. I don't doubt you once had feelings for me but I also don't doubt that you're very confused right now. You don't want me. You want someone new, and I'm only used a different way. You haven't broken me in yet, I'm like a new pair of shoes, everything is uncomfortable right now but you're making an effort to wear me in. Then I won't be new anymore, I'll give you blisters and hurt you. Then you'll go back to your old pair because that's what you're comfortable with. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

I may cry
when you pass.
don't be fooled
it's not for you.

It's for the father
I should have had,
the father I deserved.
That's what I'll grieve
not you.

Never you.

What's there to miss?
I can do without you
making me feel awkward,
ignored,
an inconvenience.

Can you understand my view?

There were no cuddles
for me,
no tenderness
or tender words.

I did not even want you
to 'give me away'
on your only daughters
wedding day.
Escaping abroad
escaping feeling ignored.
You lost all rights
to hand me over
to another man
that would protect me.

You never got that right
did you?
Couldn't even protect me
from yourself.

So I sometimes think
about your health,
you, drinking yourself
               to
                    d
                      e
                  ­      a
                          t
                            h­

Not sure how much more
your old and bitter body can take

and I wait* ......

My pain is like the Mississippi
A current so strong,
I can't tell up or down.
I just sit here,
Searching on how to end it.
And ignoring the number.
My reopened cuts don't help,
and neither does my bleeding lip,
The only way I'll find peace,
Is if I end it.
School is not a place of terror,
I feel safe,
Because my real prison,
Is one I'll never escape.
Home is a prison,
My room a cell,
A place to get away,
From the downstairs hell.
People who are supposed to be,
Comfort and support,
Hurt and torment me
Without even knowing.
I'll be free one day,
From all this pain,
But there are two paths to choose,
Which one will I take?