she uses her push up bras to uphold her self esteem
and make her personality look perky and recognizable...

she hides the massacre of self abuse and sleepless nights,
under the thick shadow of mascara...

her eyes twinkle when she smiles, but not many know
the shine comes from the reflection of years of shattered dreams and crumbled emotions hidden in them..

her skin looks perfect from the distance but look closely,
you can see the scars left on them from the paper cuts of fashion magazines..

we were puzzle pieces that fit perfectly...
but just belonged to different jigsaw sets..

i wonder if the curtains talk about what we do behind their backs..
i wonder if the pillow covers complain about the  tear stains we leave on them..
i wonder if the bed feels the emptiness like i do..
i wonder if our closets are strong enough to hold our skeletons..
i wonder if the door creaks our darkest secrets out..
or do the paintings gossip about our fights..
is the dust which remains.. is all thats left of us..
is our bedroom the aftermath of what we once were...

i walk around the carnage of my souls carcasses
your empty promises lying around like shells and cartridges
you were the harness keeping me from falling into this heartless fortress
i should have known your touch wasn't just harmless
it was there to harvest
my dreams my hopes my aspirations , until you **** out every thing
and there is nothing but darkness...
your love letters look like habeas  corpus
summoning  me to a court, with a sentence to the gallows

i have swallowed all your lies and the pain
the shrapnel of what we were once are still stuck in my heart and brain..
too scared to love and dream again
too scared to even mention your name
too scared that you were the dame..

i want my fists to turn into my hands again
just so i can feel her for one last time.

i want my tears to stop flooding my eyes
so that i can see her clearly

i want this burn to leave my stomach
so that i can smile when i say good bye

i want to let go of this rage
so that i can hug and tell her i forgive her