I have lived with a singular problem
for 5 years it has remained, at times I believe it to be gone
so used to the life I lead and the way I feel that this has become the norm.

my issue is self created and self sustained,
depression I caused and depression I cannot shake.
For a while it was gone the problems I had caused came to an end, I fixed the one I had broken and in doing so fixed myself.

But all must end and we both broke again with only myself to blame.

This depression is a problem ill never be free of, this seems to be it for me. The repressed nature I have fallen back into is tearing away at who I am. a shadow, a empty husk of a man . unreachable too all but one too all but you, but your far out of reach far away from me. I try my hardest to tear down this prison I am in afraid it will all be in vein. I sink into my depression that I have fought for years past afraid soon it'll be the end

"Kids just don't have any respect for their betters these days..."

Well
When you decide to come home from work
To see your kids seated in the same spot they have been in since they got home from school
Laboring over homework that really never ends
A chores list laying forgotten on the counter in front of their eyes glued not to their phones
But to the massive pile of work that even you couldn't hope to accomplish
And instead of encouraging them to finish their work
Shout at them for not taking your needs into consideration,

Remember that every period of every school day (That's 6 periods, 5 days a week)
Every single one of their teachers is telling them the same thing
To forget the other work and prioritize theirs.

Recall that even before their homework that they have extracurriculars
And colleges are looking for not just academic excellence but social too.

Remind yourself that on top of THAT, they are constantly under pressure from themselves as well
No one puts themselves through hell without mental conviction
And certainly no lazy student would ever take initiative unless it was extremely important.

Your chores pale in comparison to the ocean of stress floating in the minds
Of the very people you berate.

And bear in mind that you are not their betters
For respect is a privilege to earn,
Not a right to have.

Strange how a person can brighten your day
Someone you have never met and never will meet
Suddenly sweeping the gray away with a positive comment

Curious how a website can validate your feelings
Calling your insecurities to attention and dismissing them
Chucking them into the bin where they belong

Silly how something online
Can make you feel so special

There was a girl who became her dreams,

but her dreams were just nightmares in disguise.