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Nis Jul 2018
Tomorrow will be the day,
not today,
happy pitty,
but tomorrow...
Worromot,
things turning upside down,
or inside out I should say.
Inside out, what an appropriate expression.
Tomorrow will be today sometime tomorrow,
and then
I'll be inside out,
I'll be out, my inside will be out,
exposed to the world for them to throw stones at it,
or my dad rather than the world.
But my insides have toughened
they will be a worthy adversary,
I will be a worthy adversary,
She will be a worthy adversary.
She...
Soon.
Worromot.
My parents haven't been quite supportive of my transition so far, but I'm giving my dad a second chance and have a second shot at "coming out" and having a civilized conversation about it...wish me luck
Nis Jul 2018
Look up
among the clouds that wrap the sun
there's someone there
her eyes are there
and then it's me.
I am in the sky with diamonds.
I look at me and I'm gone.

Look past the flowers that hang from the sky,
noone is there, noone ever was,
yet you are there, you never were.
You and I eating marshmallow pie
with the head in the clouds
and we are gone.
Nis Jul 2018
Among the garbage and the flowers,
forgotten between stars,
abandoned by their creator,
who probably didn't even exist;
a poet is born.
They care not much for their life
for they've seen through it, they know.
Not different from their peers,
not new in their painful world,
sometimes garbage, sometimes a flower,
maybe forgotten, maybe a star,
certainly a creator.
They know and are known,
they love and are loved,
they hate and are hated.

Among the garbage and the flowers
a totem is erected, its life decided,
it's grow is determined, forever.

Among the garbage and the flowers,
between the poet and the totem
a poem falls and makes a soundless noise.
Dutiful in its love and hate,
it loves the totem and hates the poet.
It moves, unmoved and unmoving,
away from the poet to the totem,
it races towards an unseen goal line.

Among the garbage and the flowers
a photo is taken,
an image of a poet, a totem, a poem.
Something calls your attention
you look at it, and they are gone.
Nis Jul 2018
Mi corazón y el océano son polos opuestos,
por eso en mi corazón lo siento.
Me llora cada noche por no verme,
me grita con tormentas su añoranza.

Yo también añoro al océano
y de mis ojos surgen lágrimas saladas,
sal de océano.
Mi corazón se rompe y él lo sabe,
el océano lo sabe todo.
Sabe su soledad y sabe la mía
y sabe que estamos destinados a encontrarnos.

//

My heart and the ocean are opposing polea,
that's why in my heart I feel it.
It cries me each night to see me,
it cries with storms its longing.

I long the ocean too
and from my eyes salty tears emerge,
ocean's salt.
My heart breaks and it knows it,
the ocean knows it all.
It knows its loneliness and it knows mine
and it knows we are destined to meet.
Something in between the dysphoria caused by the beach and my closeness to suicide by drowning in the ocean.
Nis Jul 2018
La niña ahogada usa su mirar y explora,
indaga con sus ojos profundos su soledad sonora.
La niña ahogada es sabia y sabe,
sabe la sonoridad de la ausencia,
conoce el timbre de los pájaros callados
y el color de ojos de la soledad.
La niña ahogada sabe demasiado
y tal vez por eso la soledad le ahoga.
Luces de cristal, color transparente,
brillan en sus ojos añejos, añejos de ausencia.

En su boca yace una última sonrisa,
una risa de nostalgia de tiempos que no sucedieron.
La niña ahogada se ríe sola, porque está sola
y solamente ella se escucha.
Se escucha entre tinieblas, entre el ruido se entrevé.
En la noche de su risa solo hay sitio para una
pero ella no está, está ahogada,
y la dulcez del mar le susurra en sus adentros
lo que nunca ha sido escrito
lo que no debe ser escrito
y mientras la luz de la luna le grita
la niña ahogada se hunde.

Se hunde en si misma
cuál enredadera, cual caballo de ajedrez.
Se hunde y busca un apoyo
más en su eterno saber
sabe eterno este mar insondable,
sabe infinita su soledad propia
y su ausencia ajena.

//

The drowned girl uses her seeing and explores,
she stares with her deep eyes at her loud loneliness.
The drowned girl is knowing and knows,
she knows the loudness of her absence,
she knows the timbre of quiet birds
and the eye colour of loneliness.
The drowning girl knows todo much
and maybe that's why loneliness drowns herramientas.
Crystal lights, of transparent colour,
shine in her aged eyes, aged with absence.

On her mouth lies one last smile,
one laugh of nostalgia oferta times that did not happen.
The drowned girl laughs alone, because she is alone
and only she listens.
She listens among shadows, among noise she glimpses at herself.
In the night of her laugh there's only room for one
but she's not there, she's drowned,
and the sweetness of the sea murmurs in her insides
What has never been written
what must never be written
and while the light of the moon shouts at her
the drowned girl sinks.

She sinks into herself
like a climbing planta, like a chess knight.
She sinks and she looks for support
but in her endless knowing
she knows endless this fathomless sea,
she knows infinite her own loneliness
and her alien absence.
Nis Jul 2018
"Furia color de amor,
amor color de olvido"
-de "Un río, un amor" por Luis Cernuda

olvido color de olvido,
amargo color de amor,
tintado de olvido.
Frágil aroma de remordimiento
suave sabor de lamentos,
lamentos con timbre de lágrimas rotas,
rotas y con olor a desesperanza,
desesperanza color de sinestesia,
que es un nombre más para mi muerte.

//

"Fury the colour of love,
love the colour of oblivion."
-from "Un río, un amor" ("One river, one love") buenos Luis Cernuda

oblivion the colour of oblivion,
bitter colour of love,
dyed of oblivion.
Fragile scent of remorse
soft traste of laments,
laments the timbre of broken tears,
broken and with the odour of despair,
despair the colour of synaesthesia,
which is another name for my death.
Probably the most famous verses by the Spanish poet. This was harder to translate but I did my best.
Nis Jul 2018
"Libremente los besos desde los labios caen
en el mar indomable como perlas inútiles"
-de "Un río, un amor" por Luis Cernuda.

Libremente desde mis labios caigo
en el mar indómito cual ****** piedra.
Ahogo mi amor en penas
que pesan mi cuerpo y me hunden.
Mi amor se pierde en la inmensidad del océano.
Besos caídos, abrazos solitarios, caricias al viento.
Tanto amor tenía por darte, a ti, a todos
mas ahora se pierde
en el abismo
donde mi cuerpo perece.

//

"Freely from my lips the kisses fall
in the unteamable sea like useless pearls"
-from "One river, one love" by Luis Cernuda.

Freely from my lips I fall
into the untamed sea like ****** stones.
I drown my love in pitties
which weight my body and sink me.
My love is lost in the inmensity of the ocean.
Fallen kisses, lonely hugs, caresses to the wind.
So much love I had to give,to you, to everyone
but now it is lost
in the abyss
where my body perishes.
Based on the poem "Sombras blancas" (White shadows) from the book "Un río, un amor" (A river, a love) by Luis Cernuda. I got my hands of an Antology of him so expect more like this.
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