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You will remember me
   Not by my presence
       But my absence
                    

And, even that
      Will just be a passing thought.
.        Tear in the eye
     wound in the heart


   Teardrops ... that drip
       from these eyes
  shall never be hidden
No mask of humiliation
          shall cloak
   an empathetic soul

Tears fall without shame ...

   Cleansing tears wept
       of undisguised
   merciful surrender,
  purging the essence
    of mending heart;
         shamelessly
       pouring forth,
            unsifted 
     grain and chaff
     together as one
   to willingly exhale
compassionate breathe ―
     into a sympathy
  impoverished  world

      Being mindful ―
      never wanting
   misspoken words
         to further
     another’s pain
      when there is
   an unwillingness
to unveil the very core,
the wisdom of silence
             reveals

Lean into imperfection's blossoms …

    Embrace the light
     from disregarded
           tears shed,
   releasing the traces
   of the spirit of love
      within the soul

         Blessed be
     the empathetic
         almsgiver
consoling with love
       without pity
       Giving love
        is to share
    unconditionally
with eternal purpose;
      flooding forth
   a flow of empathy
         onto a love
     deprived world …

       Love more ~


                                                          ­      *Harlon Rivers
Notes:  I have come to understand over these years as a creative contributor to HePo, that there are many among us here at Hello Poetry who silently suffer; there are many all over this earth who suffer in silence.. This earth is NOT HELL ― if we are not part of the solution, we are a part of the problem ― Please ! LOVE MORE !
Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
That's where all the unravished silences belong
When the paper and promises are both meant to burn
Flowing tears of written hopes and woes
As a butterfly’s fluttering coax the flows
Later, past the rapids, I paused to consider
Widening and filling
With a gentle lapping of inlets
And I behold once more
Quietly
There goes-
Again'

My battle with time

Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
It's when I dwell in my creations
My long lost world
In the dim weald of vanished summer
To meet the despair

I laughed in grief under haunted skies
Desolate I strayed
In my clumsy-noisy mind
Watching the dying embers
Amid the freezing night
My angry-tears are gone'
And I behold once more
Quietly
There goes-
Again'

My battle with time

I mourn over reasons
They will never figure out
They doesn't even know what I'm smiling about
My words burns within my lungs
These thoughts are deadly
And with each broken words
Shaking legs
Empty rhythms
I danced'

Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
It's when I take a sip from my devil's cup
It's when I learn to wait for the loneliest of feasts
Of worlds whereto this earth’s a hurled dream

And nothing leads to no happy home
So let me-
So let me mourn alone
Let my heart freezze
I'm an ancient ocean
I could survive anything
And everything
So I behold once more
Raw and raging
There goes-
I'm beyond'

I'm beyond time
 Jan 2018 Neuvalence
Cné
Climbing on the bus
Not looking forward to this trip
But it meant so much to her  
And how could I predict

That it would be her last hurrah
Before she passed away
Just one year ago marks
The anniversary of that day

It was an annual trip, with her twin
They took to different cities
With a group of old church folks
They called themselves
“The Traveling Gypsies”

As it turned out to be
My last fond memory
Of my mother and her twin
Before they were stripped
Of all their memories

Alzheimer’s was their reward
They gave it quite a fight
Bed ridden in their final days
Until they saw the light

Who's to say how it will end
Or where that place will be
A gutter in the streets of life
Or home where it should be

So as I sit and contemplate
These moments I recount
I think about the road ahead
And how I’ll make it count
My mom and her twin sister both had Alzheimer's. My mom was significantly more progressed than my aunt's. My aunt acted as my mom's caretaker long after we had them both moved to a memory care facility. They both did well there for about 6 months. Then my mom became aggressively depressed and crying all the time. At that time, they both had a bad sinus infection at the same time. My mother recovered but was still crying and complaining she couldn't breathe. However doctors could not find any ailments in her. My aunt ended up getting pneumonia. While in the hospital they discovered and diagnosed her with stage 4 terminal lung cancer. She died 4 months later with the last month being bed ridden, hardly eating until she was nearly only bones and on a breathing machine. My mom and her twin were always connected in the weird twin way ... knowing things between them, beyond normal comprehension. We all believe my mom knew (not in a cognitive way but in her own twin way) before diagnosed that her twin was going to die. None of us expected her to live much longer than her twin. They both had long life forces even crippled with cancer and Alzheimer's. My aunt Lorea (other mother) died Oct. 27, 2016. Up until that point my mother could still walk, talk, eat and recognize me and my siblings. However after she lost her twin she could no longer walk requiring much more individual care. We moved her to a residential home care facility. They worked really hard to try and revive her willingness to live. It wasn't a conscious choice to give up because with Alzheimer's your brain doesn't work right. She lasted less than 3 months after the death of her twin. It was heartbreaking, to say the least, to witness. I rejoice her being reunited with her twin and my father and free of the confinement of Alzheimer's but I'm still working through the finality of it on the earthly side. Growing up as a child of twins is a blessing of having two moms (one being the cool mom ... the mom you could tell anything to .. knowing she would know how to explain it to your real mom in a way you couldn't bring yourself to do) and a sister cousin, my aunt's daughter. I had an older sister (10 years) too. So in my case I had three moms I love dearly. I am grateful to still have my sister.
I wipe the tears!
Overcome the fears,
From turbulent to calm,
My life steers!

I let the things go
Let the life flow,
From the dark to a spark,
The life gets a glow!

I forgive!
The gratitude I give,
From gloom to bloom,
I begin to live!

I forget!
And having no regret,
From messed to blessed,
Now the life is great!

I pray!
At the end of the day,
From painful to blissful,
The life finds a way!
Wrote something after a while...somehow had writers block...now back with same genre! Just wrote!
 Jan 2018 Neuvalence
Colm
Thin like the willow
Grey as the dove

Quiet as the wind beneath which pesters the cat floats the wings and sweeps the city streets clean of debris

Dark as the asphalt
Soft as the paws

Lean like meat
Old like soil
And slick like oil as it drips from beneath

Shaking like the bedrock
The running water whips

Damp as the corners
And dry as your eyes
It slips

And where asphalt meets the mossgrown bricks
Corners are placed and worlds collide

And the man within is locked away
Within the metaphorical city street

Would the Central Park I know and love, return to me?
In all such glory

The Willow trees
Must go.
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