~
"Leave the lights off and on,
I feel mysterious tonight,"
she says.

"Every time you look different,"
replies her careful ecstasy.

Practice makes perfect,
and from chaos comes 💋 (kissing).
She floats free from
her own body's outer reaches:
The mirrorball and the mystic circle.
The mirrorball is a light
for attracting attention.
The mystic circle
is an unsustainable trance.

"Will I dream during the process?" she asks.

"Only if you know the wild that wants you," chants the infinite unsayable yes.
~

Driving
three bundles of love
to nowhere specific
but loving
the journey

At times take some risks in life...regardless of whether you are successful or not, you will learn..if you win you will experience happiness and if you lose you will be more wise.

I've shun all my pretences
I've dropped my defences
I am unarmed and vulnerable
The exposure of my truth is now inevitable
I had feared that this day would be probable
I'm tired of running and hiding
All my dark secrets are finding their way out of my soul's closet
Is this it??
The end of me... The end of all relationships
The chance of a having a somewhat normal life evaporating into thin air
My soul now bare and exposed
Revealing the monster inside of me ..
...Everyone now witnessing the imposter I truly am
My mask is gradually slipping off
How much longer can I play this game of hide and seek with my dark monster
I'm losing control
I don't think I can lie and pretend anymore
The burden of keeping this dark secret is just too much
But telling the truth will destroy it all
I'll be back to being a loner
Discarded like an old and obsolete piece of furniture
Discriminated against like I'm afflicted with some infectious disease
Avoided like I'm something dangerous
I was always a bit different..
...Weird in my own way
...Doing things most people around me would do and...
...Pretending to be normal was the only way to blend in
...Perhaps I was a fool to think that I could **** the monster inside of me
My inner monster and I... We're inseparable I guess
...but then again let me ask you all this... Ultimately aren't we all in some way or the other pretending to be normal???
I mean what is normal???
One man's normal is another man's crazy and vice versa.... Isn't it???

The eons of my life are passing by in a jiffy
Feels like a dream this life
It was only yesterday
That I was cradled in my mother's arms
Her sweet lullaby dispelling my fears
Her motivating words always keeping me positive
Then as the years went by..
...From crawling to walking
From mumbling gibberish to talking...
...I  gradually learnt it all
And yet sometimes I feel like I haven't changed at all
I'm still that shy reserved soul
Absorbing pain and loneliness every single day of my existence
The same introvert finding happiness and comfort in my writings
All my life I've always felt like a misfit for some reason
Now many decades later I still feel the same...
...sure I've changed somewhat
I've aged...
I've lost some hair.. some teeth
I've become a bit forgetful
Times have changed..
Technology has become more prevalent
I'm adapting or at least trying to adapt to these changes as best as I can
...But somethings have remained the same...
I was a loner many eons ago
And I'm still one
And yet I'm still living...
...surviving
...trying to find happiness in whatever I do
Learning or at least trying to learn something each and every day of my life..
Perhaps I guess I'm enjoying the silence and beauty that loneliness offers
I guess solitude is the only thing I have that I can truly enjoy
And if I don't ever find any companionship.. At least I know that I'll always have loneliness by my side...
I sometimes wonder.. Have I lived my life to the fullest?
...Have I achieved all my goals in life?
And I sit and think for hours and days and I just can't come up with any answers to these two questions
I guess I'll never know the answers to these.. Perhaps I'm not meant to...