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I breathe artistic
the air acts as my paintbrush,
my lungs, the canvas.
I used to smile
Then I looked in the mirror
I could see clearly
That the reflection was not me
Not the one I see
This is not me
I realized who I am
Not someone who wears dresses;
bows and many more
I'm just a pitiful girl
Putting on an act
Lying through my teeth;
and not being me
I danced around the stage
Act all my parts in my play
I chose to be;
What everyone else wants to see
I'm just a girl hiding behind;
An Act
  Nov 2016 zeph the deer boi
elizabeth
I feel powerless,
Stupid;
Like a *****,
Like a fool.

I feel hopeless,
Helpless;
Like a burden,
Like a disappointment.

I feel awful,
Tired;
Like I want to slip
Away into the endless oblivion.
September 28, 2016
  Nov 2016 zeph the deer boi
elizabeth
I wonder if I stopped eating,
Would they notice?
I wonder if I stopped laughing,
Would they notice?
I wonder if I stopped loving,
Would they notice?
I wonder if I stopped talking,
Would they notice?
I wonder if I stopped trying,
Would they notice?
I wonder if I stopped breathing,
Would they notice?

*Because I wouldn't.
August 26, 2016
  Nov 2016 zeph the deer boi
elizabeth
"You're a failure."
I cry at her words.
"You're just a stupid *****."
I cry again.
"He doesn't love you."
I nod in agreement.
"You're a mistake."
I nod again.
"You should be punished."
I cut.
"You deserve pain and misery."
I cut again.
"You don't deserve to live."
Silence.
"Finally decided to listen to me?"
Silence again.
"Hello?"
"Are you there?"
"Don't leave me!"
My reflection went quiet.
She cried...
She agreed...
She cut...
And she died because of me.
September 21, 2016
  Nov 2016 zeph the deer boi
elizabeth
Today is the day
I stop worrying.
Today is the day
I win.
Today is the day
I love myself.
Today is the day
I...
*Keep telling myself lies.
April 21, 2016
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